However parents want to deny it, they most likely have a favorite child. They might not even be aware of it sometimes; nevertheless, experts say that a child's age, gender, and temperament can all influence whether a parent likes them more or less than their other siblings.
This teen experienced parental favoritism when her cousin moved in. Although the cousin was a troublemaker, the parents refused to see it and blamed their daughter. The situation escalated so much that she even had to go live with her grandma. After all that, the 16-year-old came online to ask people whether it would be unreasonable for her to cut ties with her parents, considering how they had treated her.
A child should feel comfortable at home, but this teen's life turned into a nightmare after her cousin moved in
Image credits: khezez / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So, she wondered if it would be unreasonable for her to cut contact with her parents since they always see her as the bad guy
Image generated by Bored Panda using Google Gemini (not the actual photo)
Image generated by Bored Panda using Google Gemini (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Darina Belonogova / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In an update, the teen explained why the cousin had to move in with her family
The situation only escalated in the therapy session that the grandma set up
Image credits: Tiarra Sorte / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: More_Detective7918
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Extended family members moving in messes with a teen's routines and life stability
If you had siblings growing up, you probably experienced unfair treatment from your parents. When you're a teenager, that feeling can amplify tenfold. Adolescents might feel that parents aren't giving them enough freedom, aren't buying them the things they want, or are controlling their lives too much.
Although most parents say that years 12 to 14 are the hardest to parent, later adolescence can be just as challenging. Early teens is the period when kids start gaining independence, questioning authority, and wanting to do things their way. So, parents have to compromise, relinquishing some of the control they've had when the teen was a child.
Each teenager has their own temperament, but how they were raised impacts what kind of adolescent they'll grow up to be. Research shows that children who have experienced conflict in early childhood are more likely to exhibit behavior problems. The OP doesn't detail what her relationship with her parents was like before her cousin moved in, but experts say that behavioral problems don't appear from nowhere.
It's possible that she started acting out more after her extended family member moved in. Researchers are noticing a trend where more and more teenagers experience fluctuations in their family situation, where certain family friends, step-parents, or extended family members move in and out of their homes. This can create a sense of instability for a teen, causing them to act out, too.
Their reactions to unfairness or someone taking their belongings can be heightened. Teens tend to be quite possessive with their things, often because they associate them with their identity. Therefore, someone taking their belongings equals theft of a part of their identity.
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
It seems that the daughter was chosen as the family scapegoat
The teen in this story complains about how she has become the scapegoat in the eyes of her parents. Almost nothing she does is ever right, and the family conflict most often gets blamed on her and her shortcomings.
Unfortunately, many people experience something similar. "Family scapegoating" is a term that mental health experts recognize and use. Usually, parents choose a child to blame for all the family's problems. It's neither fair nor healthy, but it is done because the family dynamic is dysfunctional.
Although some commenters speculated that she might not be the biological child and that the cousin is, scapegoating can happen for different reasons as well. Some parents may choose the eldest child, others the youngest. One child might be singled out because of the color of their skin, another because of their intellect or gender.
Most parents who turn their child into a scapegoat do so because they're projecting. In many cases, they imagine or are reminded of someone else when they look at the child. Hence, the different treatment.
Experts note that scapegoating has many negative effects on children and teens. They might develop a complex of feeling unworthy, incapable, and unlovable. Later in life, scapegoated children are more likely to enter toxic relationships and think that the behavior they saw at home is the norm. They also have difficulties setting boundaries, becoming people-pleasers or too sensitive.
Image credits: Alex Durynin / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Commenters sided with the teen, having a hard time believing the cousin wasn't actually a secret child of the dad's
In her last update, the teen detailed how she and her grandma were going to figure things out in the future
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: More_Detective7918
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.