Friendships can be tricky, especially when they come with unexpected ghosting episodes. Imagine being in the middle of grief and loss, expecting comfort from your best friend, only to find out that your support system has disappeared.
Well, today's Original Poster (OP) found herself in this exact position when her friend ghosted her not once, but twice, and let’s just say, her response to the situation was nothing short of a social conundrum.
More info: Reddit
There’s nothing quite like facing a crisis to reveal who your true friends are
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author's best friend had a habit of ghosting her whenever she was in emotional pain, like when she lost her dog or her father
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
Image credits: yannamelissa / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She had made peace with it, until the friend reached out randomly one day
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
Image credits: pressahotkey / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She used the opportunity to tell her friend how much her actions had hurt her, but in turn, her friend announced that she was pregnant
Image credits: Electronic_Wolf1967
This left the author wondering how to respond to the announcement as she didn't want to be manipulated back into the friendship
The OP had lost her dog, and in the middle of grieving, her college best friend completely ghosted her. However, what was baffling was that this wasn’t the first time it had happened. Years ago, the same friend disappeared when her father passed away. While the OP worked through the hurt with the help of therapy, she had long given up on seeking comfort from her friend.
Fast forward to one random day, and her friend suddenly reached out. Naturally, the OP was skeptical, however she laid it all out there, calling out how hurt she was by her absence during some of her darkest moments.
However, this was where the plot thickened. Her friend dropped a bombshell when she told the OP that she was pregnant, meaning she would soon become an aunt. Now, we’ve all heard of people rekindling old relationships via a "life event", but in this case, the OP refused to be roped back into the friendship via a child.
After wondering how to respond to the message in such a way that showed her disinterest in being friends with her again, she left a simple congratulatory message. However, in an update, the OP mentioned that her friend wasn't happy with her response. Still, the OP reminded her that at least she hadn't ignored the message the way she had always dismissed her in times of grief.
Image credits: senivpetro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To better understand why people ghost their friends, especially during difficult times, Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Christabell Madondo for insight. According to her, some individuals may withdraw due to emotional instability or an inability to process both their own and others’ emotions.
"Some people struggle with offering comfort, so they instinctively distance themselves," she explained, adding that ghosting can be both intentional and subconscious depending on the person’s coping mechanisms. However, she emphasized that true friendship requires presence and support, stating, "A person isn't your friend if they're not there to support you in your darkest moments."
Being abandoned by a close friend during a crisis can leave lasting emotional scars. She noted that it often triggers feelings of loneliness, rejection, and abandonment, making someone question the authenticity of the friendship.
This pain is even deeper for those with past abandonment issues, as it reinforces insecurities and distrust. "The emotional distress from being ghosted can also lead to frustration and resentment," she explained, pointing out that these experiences can make it harder to trust and build future relationships.
When asked how someone can decide whether to give an old friend another chance or protect their peace, she suggested a pros and cons list as a useful tool. "Has your life improved without them? Do you feel happier and healthier without their presence?" she advised, encouraging self-reflection on the emotional impact of their absence.
If there’s lingering uncertainty, she recommended giving yourself time to process the decision. Ultimately, the most important factor is personal desire, "Do you truly want them back in your life?" The answer to that will determine the next step.
Netizens supported the OP’s decision to stand firm and not tolerate the mistreatment from her friend. They insisted that she was not in the wrong for expressing her hurt and setting boundaries. Others even speculated that her friend’s sudden reappearance likely has selfish motives, stating, "She is thinking of baby gifts and free babysitting."
If you were in the OP's shoes, would you consider forgiving your friend, or would you walk away for good? Please, let us know what you think!
Netizens urged the author to stand firm on not letting the friend back into her life
