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No relationship is perfect, sure, but they’re not all made equal. Happy and healthy relationships require a ton of consistent effort to maintain, as well as a lot of compatibility between the partners. Good communication, transparency, trust, honesty, mutual respect, a willingness to compromise—without these things, the relationship might not last very long.
There’s a difference between yellow flags (which tell you to slow down in the relationship) and red flags (which tell you to get out of the relationship ASAP). Clinical psychologist Wendy Walsh, PhD, told Verywell Mind that some examples of red flags include a history of violence, chronic cheating, or substance abuse. Meanwhile, a yellow flag “might include difficulty with emotional communication that the person is aware of and working on.”
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He apparently “couldn’t handle” the state I was in and was very upset at my reaction. So I ended up comforting him the whole night/day after instead of properly grieving the loss of someone who was essentially my second mother.
Some other major signs that your relationship probably won’t work out is if you and your partner have extremely mismatched life goals. For example, if you want to get married and have kids while they don’t, there’s not much of a future there. Similarly, if you dream about living in the suburbs or on a ranch in the countryside while your partner wants to stay in the city, you might have a hard time moving forward. (Unless you sacrifice all of your hopes, dreams, and goals for them, but that’d only lead to resentment and frustration from your side.)
Other red flags include excessive jealousy and distrust, which indicate that your partner is very insecure and has issues with control. A good rule of thumb is to rethink your relationship if your partner is excessively controlling. If your partner tries to control who you meet, where you go, what you wear, how you spend your hard-earned money, and what you do online, it’s definitely not healthy.
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Ex number 2 - Ambushing me in my sleep and beating the s**t out of me
Ex number 3 - The third or fourth time I had to make sure she stayed dressed while carrying her out of a formal work event
I got myself into counselling after seeing a pattern.
At what point did you realize that you had to leave your exes, dear Pandas? What were the biggest red flags that you saw in their behavior?
What advice would you give someone who is in a toxic relationship but is scared of breaking things off? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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In the same night I came back from the vets to bury my beloved kit cat, he thought I was being unfaithful (I now know projecting) and went through my phone as I sat and cried.
He didn’t find anything except contacts he didn’t know- he created a group what’s app thread on my phone, with all male contacts (my bosses, colleagues, my brothers, cousins, etc) and sent nude photos he’d taken of me and posted in that chat.
I feel one of my brothers has never been the same with me & the horror of having to go to work the next day is something I’ll always carry.
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#20
About six months later I found out that she was cheating on me while I was sick.