Do you think that if you've been living with someone for several years, then you probably know everything about them? Well, in fact, any person can only be known through their behavior in difficult life situations. As the saying goes, "tourism and emigration are completely different things."
And so the user u/Ok-Particular-1591, the author of our story today, sincerely believed that after five years of sharing a roof with her boyfriend, after joint plans and many joys experienced, she knew everything about him. Well, her confidence was destroyed literally in an instant... However, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a woman in her early thirties who had been dating her boyfriend "Jason" for over 5 years
Image credits: Inzmam Khan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The couple were making plans for marriage, kids and family - but one day Jason simply dumped the woman over his mom having a terminal diagnosis
Image credits: u/Ok-Particular-1591
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman was ready to help them both, but the man simply told her he couldn't go on with their relationship, taking into account the circumstances
Image credits: u/Ok-Particular-1591
Image credits: stefamerpik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Months have passed since then - and recently the woman decided to move on, and started dating another person
Image credits: u/Ok-Particular-1591
So when Jason called her and suggested starting over as his mom had passed away, the woman gave her condolences but firmly said "no"
So, the Original Poster (OP) and her boyfriend "Jason", both in their early thirties, had been together for about five years. During these five years, as the woman herself admits, they experienced a lot of good things together, and were already planning marriage, kids and other family affairs. But fate decided to have its own way.
One day, the man said that his mother had been diagnosed with late-stage cancer that was actually incurable, and he wanted to spend this time with her. Accordingly, as Jason stated, he wasn’t ready to continue their relationship at the moment.
Our heroine was completely flabbergasted. She said that she was ready to support her partner and his mom, to be there for them - but these arguments didn’t affect the man. He simply packed his belongings and left, leaving the original poster alone.
Months passed since then - and the emptiness in the author's heart began to gradually fill. She decided that it was time to move on, so she changed the apartment where she had lived with Jason, and a couple of months ago she started dating again.
And then, a few days ago, Jason called her. He said that his mom had passed away months ago, and offered to start over. But our heroine, having expressed her condolences, firmly answered "no." The man was surprised - after all, their mutual friend, in his own words, had told him that she's single now.
The author responded that, firstly, she isn't single now, so the friend's information is clearly outdated. And secondly, after what happened, she’s not ready to resume a relationship with a person who can leave her literally out of the blue. Of course, she understands that mother's terminal illness is very serious, but is this a reason to break up? In the author's opinion - no.
The very next day, their mutual friend called the woman too and called out her for being so categorical with Jason. He said that she maybe should have simply politely declined Jason's ask - since she didn’t want to start over, because he had already had to go through so much. But the author was still sure that breaking up a 5-year relationship was also serious, so she decided to ask for advice online on whether she did the right thing here.
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Well, the situation is indeed quite difficult - and in fact, both ex-partners suffered here. But is this a reason to resume a relationship after such an ordeal? "Of course, a parent's terminal illness is a very hard blow, but that's what marriage is for, so that spouses can support each other in such situations," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here.
"Moreover, as far as I understand, this woman was 100% ready to provide maximum support to her man and his mother. And it was he who was not ready for this. Sadly, it seems that their relationship didn’t stand the test of difficult life problems."
In fact, the author's ex-boyfriend showed that he wasn’t at all ready to experience big issues with her - and where is the guarantee that in the event of further life trials, the situation won’t repeat itself? "In the end, we only live once, and if this woman is uncomfortable continuing to live with such a person, then that is her right," Irina summarizes.
People in the comments to the original post also supported the author as much as possible, claiming that her ex looks really unreasonable here. "And if he leaves you when someone else is sick?" one of the responders wrote. "God forbid you yourself ever received a diagnosis. You best believe he'd drop you by the back door of an Arby's and peel off."
But seriously, many commenters do believe that despite the 5-year relationship, Jason hardly took it seriously. "Nobody dumps their SO because there is a crisis in the family. You were just a placeholder for him, sorry to say that," another person presumed. "I don't even believe you are the first girl he approached since. He is a user and such people just use and throw other people." And what do you, our dear readers, think about this tale?
People in the comments sided with the woman, claiming that the guy simply considered her just a placeholder for him
