Divorce is a tough experience and it gets even tougher when kids are involved. Not only are you losing a partner you thought you'd be going through life with, but one you thought you'd be raising kids with. And while some divorces tend to get concluded quite civilly, with both parents involved in the child's life, sadly not all do.
Just like in today's story. The couple got divorced decades ago. Ever since then the man has had to pay child support, but didn't and only appeared in his daughter's life when wanted to convince his wife to forgive child support. The last time he tried, instead of forgiving him, his ex-wife burst into laughter, leaving him utterly desperate.
More info: Reddit
When a couple with kids gets divorced, there's always a risk that one parent might become a deadbeat, leaving all the responsibility on the other's shoulders
Image credits: Fernanda De Freitas / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A similar situation happened to this woman, who got divorced from her husband decades ago
Image credits: Nicola Barts / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Ever since, he has never properly paid her child support and has barely ever shown up in his daughter's life
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When he did show, usually it was to trying to get out of child support in one way or another
Image credits: Inevitable_Bill4180
The latest time, he called the woman and asked her to forgive him $65,000+ child support debt so he wouldn't lose his current wife, but the woman didn't
Back in 1987, the OP and her husband got divorced. At the time, their child was an infant, so $50/month child support from the dad was put in place. According to the inflation calculator, $50 in 1987 equals $138.94 today. Either way, the author’s ex never paid even a cent of this.
Then, years later, the woman went on to increase the support to match what he would pay if he earned federal minimum wage. At that time, it was around $4.25 an hour. Again, he didn’t pay a cent of it. In fact, he never even saw his daughter after she turned 7 years old in 1993. He also didn’t send any cards, didn’t call, nothing. He was gone from their lives in all senses.
Fast forward 11 years, and we enter the new millennium and are in 2004. The OP’s daughter is now 18 years old. Suddenly, the woman starts receiving small child support deposits of $64. Again, to put it into perspective of today’s money value, that sum now would be worth around $106.95.
A few weeks into these payments, the woman gets a call from her ex-husband asking her to stop child support because their daughter is already 18. The woman refused to do so because he owed her money from years prior, so it was a good chance for him to start paying it back.
Yet, instead of continuing to get out of debt, the man stopped working so the child maintenance wouldn’t be taken from his account. Even though unemployment in a legally paying job isn’t an excuse not to pay child support, this man took it as one.
Bored Panda's interviewee, Crystal Paduch from "Child Support Consultants," named this phenomenon "income minimizing" and said that it's a pretty huge problem when it comes to paying child support.
She spoke from her professional experience: "This is why many mothers are giving up and, as you say, ‘forgiving’ child support owed to them, as it all just becomes too much to deal with for them while trying to raise their children and move on with their lives."
She also mentioned that the difficulties of dealing with child support can take a huge toll on both the mother's mental health and their children's as well. Plus, work and employment can get affected by it too, so "they feel that it is just not worth it."
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After doing such a thing, the man from the story disappeared again. Until 2021. This time, he called his ex-wife asking her to forgive his $65,000+ debt to her. Forgiving a child support debt might not be as simple. Usually, each situation differs and should be discussed with a lawyer.
Still, even if a parent decides to forgive it, federal funds might not if medical aid, food stamps, and similar things were accessed while raising the child. In this case, it means that the child support money is owed to the state and might get taken out of social security, inheritance, and so on.
Our interviewee said that "A warrant of execution can be requested to visit the debtor’s residence or other place at which they may have assets and saleable possessions, such as cars, which can be seized, and where a debt is large, property and land can also be ordered to be sold to satisfy the debt."
To persuade his ex-wife to forgive the debt, the man swore that he’d pay her $300 a month until the balance was paid, which was about 217 months. Let’s just say that the OP wasn’t persuaded. She remembered that he had owed her money since 1987, so for 34 years at that time, and he never really paid anything.
The reason behind his plea was that there was a lien filed against him for owing so much child maintenance money, and if he didn't get rid of it, his wife would divorce him.
Well, too bad. The woman isn't planning to forgive him – after all, he never did anything to deserve it and his history showed that he wouldn’t pay her monthly like he promised. And now, she can’t stop laughing while he’s blowing up her phone.
Granted, a part of her is worried that she is being a jerk for laughing at the situation and not letting her 62-year-old ex-husband off the hook for the money. But the people of Reddit told her she shouldn’t be. He always was a deadbeat dad and now has to pay a price for that.
There was also a thought expressed in the comments that perfectly wraps this story up: while this man struggles with the consequences of his actions, his ex-wife, who raised their daughter while he repeatedly scammed her, can now laugh as much as she wants.
Check out our interviewee Crystal Paduch's "Child Support Consultants" pages – Website, Instagram and Facebook!
She wrote about it online, and people agreed that she did the right thing by not letting him off the hook — he needs to face the consequences of being a deadbeat dad
