Sometimes, you think you got out of a non-working relationship for good, and then that person comes back begging to be let into your life again. But what if they hurt you? What if you don’t want to let them back in? And what is there to do if you still don’t want to hurt that person?
Well, let’s be honest: we have a knack for these questions, and the main character of today’s story said she’s asking herself them as her cheating ex-husband came back into her life. As she didn’t know how to answer them herself, she turned to the online world for advice and became today's OP.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, people who no longer play a big part in your life come back expecting to become one of the main characters again, even if you really don't want them back
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
A woman became a mom and a wife when she was very young and got stuck in a marriage where she took care of everything and got barely any attention from her husband
Image credits: Luiz Gustavo Miertschink (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ThrowRALovebaking
After she caught her husband cheating, he quickly became an ex, but years later, he came crawling back and begging to "get his old life back"
The OP gave birth to her first child when she was 16 and her ex-husband was 18. They wanted a kid to grow up with both parents, so they got married and later had another two kids.
The post’s author finished high school, but she never went to college, as her ex wanted her to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, and she agreed.
While “ it depends on the situation” perfectly fits here, there can be some common reasons parents choose to be stay-at-home ones:
- It makes sense for the family's financial situation;
- It fits a person’s lifestyle;
- They don't want to miss their children’s milestones;
- It can be less stressful than juggling childcare and a career.
Of course, we didn’t list all of the reasons, as it would be quite a long list. We also need to remember that “it depends on the situation” thing, which means that, sometimes, there are reasons that typically don’t make these kinds of lists.
While listing these reasons, we attributed them to both moms and dads, but it’s probably common knowledge that being a stay-at-home mom is more common than being a stay-at-home dad. For instance, back in 2023, Pew Research stated that in the United States, 1 in 5 stay-at-home parents are dads. Alas, the OP’s husband wasn’t one of these dads.
Image credits: Andrew Patrick (not the actual photo)
Consequently, the woman did the majority of chores and childcare, while the husband barely paid attention to his wife and was mostly the kids’ entertainer, and he usually undermined the discipline the woman tried to establish.
In 2021, the woman found out that her husband slept with a co-worker. He begged her to go to couple’s counseling, but she refused as she knew that, up until that point, he never believed in it. So, they got divorced, even though he resisted such a move.
After the divorce, they barely talked, as the woman usually avoided him. But then he started messaging her about how improperly, for a woman and mom of her age, she was dressing when she went out with her friends. Basically, he was guilt-tripping her for living a life without him.
Then, he proceeded to call her, begging her to take him back or “give him his old life back.” The woman just listened to everything he had to say and then hung up.
The thing is that she’s sure she doesn’t want to take him back, as it wouldn’t be fair to her or the kids. She just doesn’t know how to reject the offer without hurting him.
People online didn’t understand the woman’s aim of not hurting her ex. In their eyes, his old life was the wife taking care of everything while he got to sleep around on the side. Others noted that his phrasing was very telling -- he wanted his old life back, not his ex-wife back.
We can't deny that there's a lot of weight to what netizens are saying. It's quite clear that the OP's gut is also telling her that. So, let's hope she will find the answers to her questions and that this will be only a sour memory for her.
The woman was sure she wouldn't let him back in, but she didn't know how to let him off gently, which confused netizens, as in their eyes, she was mistreated and shouldn't feel bad for him
