It can be devastating to accept the fact that a marriage is no longer working. But if the couple has children, they must always be able to put their differences aside and do what’s best for the kids. Otherwise, they might risk losing their spouse and their little ones.
One mother reached out to Reddit recently asking for advice after having a run-in with her less than friendly ex-husband and his wife. Below, you’ll find all of the details about this situation, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman has spent the last two decades dealing with rude comments from her ex-husband and his wife
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So when they chose to confront her again, she decided that it was finally time to put them in their place
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Later, the mom responded to several readers and provided more background information
Nearly half of all first marriages end in divorce
Despite how painful divorce can be to go through, it’s extremely common. In fact, it’s estimated that between 40%-50% of first marriages in the United States eventually split up. And globally, the average divorce rate is about 1.8 per 1,000 people. Nobody wants to imagine their marriage ending when they’re in the honeymoon phase, but sadly, many factors can tear couples apart.
Divorce.com notes that marriages often end due to lack of commitment, infidelity, irreconcilable differences, marrying too young, financial hardships, substance issues and/or domestic violence.
On average, marriages last about 8 years before couples decide to call it quits, and over two thirds of divorces are initiated by women. The majority of people who marry between the ages of 20 and 25 will end up getting a divorce, and the average age for Americans to get their first divorce is 30.
But there are also many reasons why couples tend to stay together, even when they know their marriage isn’t working. And one of the most common reasons spouses cite for refusing to give up on a failed marriage is their children.
Many parents worry about how it will affect their kids to grow up in two different households and to witness their parents’ marriage fall apart. But the reality is that kids are much more perceptive than many of us realize, and they are often well aware of the issues that their parents have, no matter how hard they may try to hide them.
Freed Marcroft also warns that staying together for the kids can teach children that toxic or unhealthy relationships are normal. If the only example they’ve ever seen of a marriage included fighting, passive aggressive comments and dysfunction, they might seek out similar dynamics in their own relationships as they grow up.
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Both parents should agree to make their children the priority during a divorce
At the same time, seeing their parents go through a divorce can negatively impact children as well. The Wave Clinic explains that young children may not fully understand why they now have to go between two households, and older kids might struggle to make sense of it all. They may even worry if they did something that caused the marriage to fall apart. And teenagers are more likely to understand, but they might express their feelings through anger or rebellious behavior.
It is also common for children of divorce to develop anxiety about their living situation or depression caused by the trauma of the divorce. They may also feel pressure to take on additional responsibilities at home or experience loneliness if they don’t get to spend as much time with each parent. Many kids also feel angry towards their parents for breaking up their family.
However, it is certainly possible for parents to maintain great relationships with their children after going through a divorce. HelpGuide notes that parents can make this transition easier on their children by staying extremely involved in their lives. Even if they cannot see each other every single day, they should stay in contact and always make it clear how much they love them.
It’s also best to keep situations with the other parent civil and focus on enjoying the time you get to spend with your kids. Communicate directly with the other parent, so your children don’t become messengers, and always remain respectful towards their other parent. Never make children choose between Mom and Dad, and avoid saying anything negative about your ex-spouse.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this mother did anything wrong by telling off her ex’s wife? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another Bored Panda discussing similar family issues right here.
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Many readers saw nothing wrong with the author standing up for herself
However, some found the mother's comment to be unnecessary
