There’s this unwritten convention, social norm, rule—whatever you wanna call it—that you just don’t refuse perfectly fine food. Unless you’re really full, but even then taking a doggy-bag is at the very least a nice gesture.
But, for some, entitlement hits hard and then you’re in a situation where you’re being offered food some folks would die for, but you choose to ask for money to buy food instead. Or, worse, get yourself some take out.
Social norms dictate that you can’t really refuse food. That doesn’t stop some folks from doing the entitled thing though
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
A mom recently refused to take perfectly good frozen food from her ex to feed her kids, instead insisting on getting money… to buy food
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ambitious-Emotion615
Let’s just say the plea for money didn’t really pan out, but it did leave the dad wondering if he was wrong to refuse
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
The story goes that a dad recently turned to the Am I The A-Hole community for some perspective on a matter of financial support.
He’s divorced. Has 2 teenage kids, who live with his ex. When the ex got remarried, she lost rights to spousal support. Well, that didn’t work out and she’s back being single. But this did not magically bring back spousal support.
So, she approached OP for some help, and he was more than willing to oblige. At that point, he had around 2 weeks worth of frozen meat and veggies to spare—the proper stuff, though. Think elk, venison and wild hog, all hunted on their own. There was more, but you catch the drift.
Much to his surprise, she refused it. She instead prompted for money. Money… to buy food. “For Uber eats or something.” That was an immediate “no”. Foul-mouthing followed. But being a responsible dad, he got in touch with his sons to get a better picture. Turns out, they were fine. They had the same frozen meats, but the dad promised to bring over more.
This inevitably led to some more badmouthing—this time, folks were actually taking the mother’s side, prompting the dad to ask the question online.
Folks online begged to differ—in their eyes, the dad was in the clear and the mom is the real jerk here
Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
It was a clear NTA from the judges. In fact, some folks argued that OP was being beyond reasonable—kicking it off with a very generous amount of food. As things should be with responsible parents.
Folks pointed out that, as things stand, he doesn’t owe his ex anything. He’s divorced, he doesn’t have to pay child support (it would have worked out worse for the ex), and to top it all off, he offered groceries—even promised he’d bring some over regardless—whatever trash-talking that the ex’s support crowd’s throwing at him is irrelevant.
Many did point out that the wife is the awful one here, though. Not only because she had the audacity to refuse food and say that she’d prefer money for takeout, but that also showed that she is too lazy to cook, even if it means caring for her kids.
I guess Redditor u/delilahbelle2605 says it best: “she didn’t want food.”
The level of entitlement on the part of the ex only increases if you consider the poverty reality in the US
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
For context, the poverty line for a family of four in the US is just a bit under $30,000, while for an individual—nearly $15,000. Considering that, according to 2021 estimates, 11.6%, i.e. 38 million Americans lived under that line (when the line was actually a couple of thousand dollars lower). This only amplifies how entitled OP’s ex is.
For those living under the poverty line, housing alone constitutes 41.2% of their entire income. The second biggest thing is food with 16.7%, followed by transportation with 13.7%. Compare these three categories with someone who earns 100K to 150K, it’s 31.5, 12.5% and 17.5% accordingly.
The Census Bureau also pointed out that within the span of 5 years between 2015 and 2020, family childcare costs increased by 25%. It’s actually 28% over the last decade, with 2020 being the most expensive yet—$8.1K was the average annual childcare cost per household with children. Picture if this was a single mother with just $15K in her pocket per year.
The dad clarified a nuance regarding spousal and child support
People in the subreddit ruled that the dad is not the jerk, leaving over 10K upvotes on his post
