Being a parent is all-encompassing because it involves your full time, attention, and energy. Caring for one child can be challenging in itself, and if people choose to have more, they need all the support and resources they can get to keep up.
This is what a woman with five kids realized since her husband isn’t of any help at all, and her mother-in-law very rarely offers childcare support. She is irritated that her husband’s mom often babysits her other grandkids, but keeps turning down requests to look after the five boys.
More info: Mumsnet
Grandparents often love to help babysit their grandchildren, but they shouldn’t be expected to do so all the time
Image credits: namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she has five children, ranging from 15 months to 16 years, and that looking after them is a lot of work since her husband never helps
Image credits: namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The tired mom expects her mother-in-law to help with childcare more often since she lives 10 minutes away and often looks after her other two grandchildren
Image credits: OneGreatSheep
The poster feels irritated by the lack of support from her husband’s mom, as she seems to always drop everything to care for her other grandkids
It definitely seems like the woman is in a difficult situation, since she has to look after five boys all on her own. She mentioned that her husband works long hours, and that he often ignores her calls when he's working late. She doesn’t seem to get much support from him, which is why all the responsibility falls on her shoulders.
According to experts, some couples might carry out traditional gender roles while parenting and not realize how much pressure their partner might be facing in the process. That’s why it’s important for both people to discuss their expectations with work and childcare so that they are on the same page and can divide the responsibilities better.
The poster didn’t mention if she has ever talked to her husband about being more present at home and helping out with their boys, but she certainly feels that his mother should be more involved. She's ticked off that her mother-in-law keeps looking after her other two grandkids, but rarely ever agrees to babysit the five boys.
Most of the time, grandparents love spending time with their grandchildren and looking after them, but it shouldn’t become a forced obligation. When parents keep expecting grandparents to pitch in for long hours or at inconvenient times, it can become troublesome and prove to be a strain on them.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster found herself at a loss once again when she wanted to pop off to the shop for just a few minutes, as she needed someone to look after her kids. She checked if her mother-in-law would do it, but felt disappointed when the older woman refused, as she was already tired from helping out at her other child’s house.
To the OP, it might seem like favoritism, but the grandma could also be genuinely tired from her babysitting duties. Having to look after two children is significantly easier than looking after five, so it’s possible that the older woman just doesn’t have the energy to manage. Grandparents are also known to get babysitting burnout, especially if no boundaries are set on the support they’re expected to provide.
When netizens accused the woman of demanding too much from her mother-in-law, she responded that she has only asked the older woman for help approximately once a month. She doesn’t feel like she has asked for too much, and doesn’t know how else to manage all of the childcare on her own.
It’s clear that the woman has been finding it tough to care for her five children and that she never truly seems to get a break. Hopefully, the comments from people push her to talk to her husband about the issue and find a solution that works for them both, instead of putting unrealistic expectations on her mother-in-law.
Do you have any solutions for this struggling mom? Let us know your suggestions in the comments below.
People felt that the woman was being unreasonable by expecting her husband's mom to always babysit
Image credits: dimaberlin / Freepik (not the actual photo)
