Infidelity can often be the toughest thing to deal with in a relationship because it can destroy trust and pit people against each other. It becomes even worse when an outsider accidentally uncovers cheating and is forced to figure out whether to tell the victim or not.
This is what one 20-year-old experienced when they were fixing their dad’s phone, only to find secret flirty messages he had sent to a woman. When confronted, the cheating dad tried to brush everything under the rug and demanded his kid keep his secret.
More info: Reddit
It can be difficult for adult children to be caught in the middle of their parents’ drama, especially when there’s infidelity happening
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that they were trying to fix the message sync on their dad’s phone, and suddenly came across flirty texts he was exchanging with a woman
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the person confronted their dad, he froze and immediately snatched his phone away, stating that he wasn’t cheating
Image credits: krakenimages.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man also told his adult kid not to say anything to his wife, so that he would have time to figure things out, but this put the poster in a tough position
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The poster felt caught in the middle because of their dad asking them not to say anything, and because they felt guilty about keeping such a secret from their mom
The OP had no idea that they were going to stumble upon something shocking while routinely trying to fix their dad’s phone. That’s why when the poster noticed a random flirty text exchange on the device, they were truly baffled that their dad seemed to be in a relationship with another woman.
It can definitely be heartbreaking to learn that one of your parents is cheating on the other, and professionals explain that it can lead to people questioning their identity and trust in others. This is mainly because, as kids grow up, they learn from their guardians’ relationship, and any threat to that stable bond can shake their worldview.
That’s exactly how the poster felt when they discovered that their dad was having an affair with some other woman. Even though they expected their father to come up with some kind of explanation about the situation, they realized the truth when their dad snatched the phone away and asked them to keep it a secret.
This request can be quite unfair to the OP, as research has shown that keeping secrets can literally affect the brain’s limbic system. It can also make folks feel confused, anxious, or depressed to hide important information or have to steer clear of topics that can reveal the truth.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the poster confronted their dad about the messages, he tried to explain it away, then later told their kid not to say anything till he could figure out what to do. This obviously didn’t sit right with the OP, who suddenly felt caught in the middle of a drama that they hadn’t even asked to be a part of.
At the same time, the poster was also receiving messages from their mom about random stuff, which made them feel gross and guilty, since they knew the truth. The problem with their cheating dad involving the OP in their lie was that there was truly no easy way to resolve the matter.
According to experts, it can weigh heavily on people if they have to keep infidelity-related secrets; that’s why they must either find an outlet to share their feelings or seek professional help. Ultimately, the individual must also decide whether to disclose the affair and face the consequences that may result.
The poster also knew that whether they decided to tell their mom what they found on their dad’s phone or keep his secret, it would ultimately result in people getting hurt. That is definitely quite a lot of responsibility to lie on a 20-year-old’s shoulders, which is why they must have been struggling so much.
How do you think the poster should deal with this situation, and would you have revealed the truth if you were in their position? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this story.
People urged the author to tell their mom the truth because she deserved to know about her husband’s double life
