"It's hilarious," says photographer and mobile photography whiz Alessio La Ruffa when we ask him if he's seen the viral Facebook mom photo trend. While La Ruffa is highly entertained by many of the photos, he did offer up some advice for the mothers (and others) out there who want to up their selfie game.
"Make sure you've got some nice, soft natural light. Stand close to a window or go outside when the light is soft and flattering, not when it's super bright and harsh. Those shadows are unflattering. Shoot a bit higher than eye level, it's more flattering than shooting them from below," he suggests. "Relax and be real."
La Ruffa tells Bored Panda that the biggest mistake people make when it comes to selfies is using too many filters or over-editing their pics. "[You] can spot it a mile away," he says.
And what else should we avoid? "Harsh shadows from overhead lights or bright sunlight. Cluttered backgrounds... nobody wants to see your dirty laundry. Photos with light behind you just make your face look dark," advises the photography expert. "Don't force your smile."
La Ruffa's list of no-no's also includes extreme close-ups, photos taken below the chin, faces overexposed by flash, harsh shadows, and "being a little unaware that the photo is even being taken."
Think about composition, he advises, when we ask how someone can really take their selfies to the next level. "Read about the rule of thirds in photography and experiment," he explains. "Your face doesn't always have to be straight on in selfies, try turning your head a little while still looking at the camera."
The photographer suggests using an editing app to subtly edit the colors.
"Don't use your phone's flash," he warns before he has to wrap up our short but informative interview. "Use a timer if you struggle to take the photo by yourself (the buttons can be fiddly) and make sure your camera lens is clean."
Between doing laundry, picking the kids up from school, cooking, cleaning and all that other jazz, moms somehow still manage to find time for scrolling.
In fact, they’re carving out an average of 4:04 hours a day to use the internet, according to a January 2024 survey by Edison Research. That figure is up from 3:34 in 2018, and no, they’re not searching for recipes for tonight’s dinner. They’re spending much of that time (like many of the rest of us) on social media.
But unlike many of the rest of us, it seems mamas tend to use their social media time quite productively.
One study, conducted by Pew Research, found that 83% of mothers polled browse their social media timelines for parenting information. 80% of mothers said they use social media to get support for a parenting issue, while 77% are going online to share their experience or respond to parenting questions.
Interestingly, another study found that more than 93% of mothers use social media compared with 69.7% of all women.
“Social media is a major source of community support for mothers. Among millennial and Gen Z mothers, 46.3% turn to local community groups and online forums for assistance," reveals the Ignite Social Media site.
While many people have moved on from Facebook and found joy on other platforms, the vast majority of moms have not. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the most popular social media platforms among U.S. parents are (in this order), YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram.
"Mothers appeared more likely to use Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, and TikTok while fathers appeared more likely to use Twitter and Reddit," reveals the CDC. "Younger parents appeared more likely to use several platforms, especially Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, but appeared less likely to use Pinterest."
Among the American parents who said they're social media users, more than half said they're on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and/or Snapchat every day. Most of the daily users are spending their time on Facebook.
Are they busy uploading mom selfies, perhaps? Not quite...
For some, social media has actually been a lifesaver. Take Melissa Guida-Richards, for example. In a blog post titled, I'm a Better Mom Because of Social Media - Here's Why, she explains how going online has helped her find parenting advice she might not have received elsewhere.
"Now, I know that some moms have a close relationship with parents, aunts, and grandparents who are fountains of advice, but for those of us with families with intergenerational trauma, even the most well-intentioned guidance is not always the best (or safest) option for our situation," writes the mom.
Social media, says Guida-Richards, allows her to "bypass uncomfortable conversations and connect to a dozen experts in nutrition, mental health, and milestones who have created resources for parents like me."
For Guida-Richards, social media has also played a big part in helping with her mental health by allowing her to connect with like-minded moms.
"When I first became a parent, I found it very isolating. We had recently moved out of state from where my husband and I grew up, and finding friends with two children under 2 felt unattainable when I could barely make it out of the house to a doctor’s appointment by myself," reveals the mother.
She says she wasn't too surprised when she was diagnosed with postpartum depression. Her therapist told her that (like many other moms), she'd been putting herself last for far too long.
"She encouraged me to find a strong support network," says Guida-Richards. "And one of her recommendations was to utilize social media."
Through social media, the mom managed to find and follow other moms who were struggling with their mental health.
"New moms, moms of five plus kids, as well as rockstar moms who were just a joy to follow," she writes. "Opening up to the world of socials wasn’t a step back for my family but a way to open the door to connections that have turned into lasting friendships and career opportunities."
