We’re often told that relationships are built on trust, timing, and shared goals, but what happens when one person keeps moving the finish line? When promises start sounding more like placeholders, even the strongest partnerships can begin to feel… sketchy.
One lady turned to an online community to vent after realizing the engagement she’d been promised years ago might never come. After backing her boyfriend through job loss, family chaos, and a broken bank account, she’s now asking netizens, “How long is too long?”
More info: Reddit
Relationships thrive on shared expectations, but when promises start slipping, even love can feel like it’s stuck in limbo
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After five years together, one woman agreed to move in with her boyfriend only after he promised to propose within the year
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Two years later, there was still no ring, no timeline, and every conversation about marriage got blatantly brushed off
Image credits: armmypicca / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite carrying more than half their financial stress and supporting him through job drama, she felt like she was struck in a cycle of begging for clarity
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
After realizing he was willing to spend big on his family but not contribute even a cent to her birthday cake, she made the difficult decision to turn her back on their so-called future
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So, she chose her dignity over uncertainty, and walked out away from a relationship that, in reality, was being held up by empty promises and not much else
The original poster (OP), a 32-year-old woman, has been with her 34-year-old boyfriend for five years. Early on, they had the big, grown-up talks about marriage, expectations, and deal-breakers. By year two, everything seemed aligned, or so she thought. When they moved in together, it came with one clear condition: a proposal within the year.
Well… that proposal never showed up. Two years later, it’s still missing in action. Every time OP tried to bring it up, it felt like chasing a promise that kept slipping through her fingers. Her boyfriend dodged the topic like it was a bill he didn’t want to open, claiming he was too tired or that wedding talk was “too much.” Meanwhile, OP just wanted a straight answer.
And here’s the kicker: OP wasn’t exactly sitting around doing nothing. When he lost his job, she stepped up and covered the bills. When his new job got stressful, she became his unofficial life coach. She even helped him manage his family’s constant chaos, biting her tongue more times than she could count just to keep the peace.
Things finally snapped into focus when OP found out he’d dropped $1,500 on his younger brother’s birthday bash, all while she was covering over 60% of their expenses. Meanwhile, her own birthdays? Let’s just say she was out here buying her own cake. That contrast hit hard… and it hit fast.
At some point, it stops being about the ring and starts being about what it stands for. Commitment, effort, and basic follow-through aren’t bonus features in a relationship. So, when someone keeps stalling, you have to wonder: are they unsure… or just avoiding the truth altogether?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Relationship experts love to say that trust lives in the gap between words and actions—and honestly, they’re not wrong. When someone keeps promising something as big as marriage but never delivers, it doesn’t just sting; it messes with your sense of security. Over time, that gap starts to feel less like a delay and more like a pattern.
Avoiding commitment conversations? Way more common than you’d think. Gamophobia, as the pros have termed it, is actually one of the most common types of commitment phobias. Basically, it’s the intense fear of a formal long-term relationship or marriage. But here’s the thing: dodging the convo entirely instead of being honest about those fears? That’s where things start to unravel.
Money, of course, adds its own special layer of drama. Studies show that when one partner carries most of the financial load, resentment can creep in fast, especially if the other person is out there spending like there’s no tomorrow. In OP’s case, watching her hopefully-hubby splash cash while she held things together didn’t exactly scream “team effort.”
And then there’s that slow, exhausting feeling of being strung along. Psychologists say unclear timelines can leave people stuck in emotional limbo, unable to move forward or let go. Eventually, it’s not even about impatience anymore, it’s (understandable) desperation for clarity.
In the end, OP didn’t just walk away from a missed proposal; she turned her back on years of uncertainty and wasted hope. Love might have kept her there, but zero follow-through pushed her out. Sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward though, right?
What’s your take? Was OP right to walk away after two years of being strung along, or should she have given him even more time? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers had nothing but praise for the original poster for having the courage to turn her back on a relationship that was going nowhere
