Women are coming up with more and more creative ways to fend off unwanted advances from men. Some situations might get so frustrating that ladies grasp onto whatever last straw there is. When farting is the only deterrent against harassment, you know something is probably wrong with our society.
A woman on Reddit shared her creative way to get rid of a guy at the gym. The man wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so Redditor Titfortat101 had to resort to an unorthodox method. Read on to find out how this woman used one of her natural bodily functions to her advantage.
Sometimes men can be overly persistent when hitting on women
Image credits: Sven Mieke (not the actual photo)
Ladies then have to resort to some inventive ways to ward off unwanted attention
Image credits: Anastase Maragos (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Danielle Cerullo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Titfortat101
When rejecting someone, be respectful but assertive
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
When you're in a situation like this – in a public place, nowhere to run or excuse yourself, it's useful to know how to reject someone respectfully, but efficiently. Being mean never gets you anywhere good, especially in situations like these.
Licensed counselor Bianca Walker told Women's Health that it's important the person understands that rejection isn't about them. "Rejecting someone in a mean way says, 'There's something wrong with you,' which is very different from, 'I know what I want and I don't think we're compatible'."
Gina Handley Schmitt, LMHC added: "There are actual human beings on the receiving end of a rejection, and these human beings will inevitably be disappointed and hurt when their romantic feelings are not reciprocated."
Neither the one rejecting nor the person on the receiving end is going to have fun. Yet experts agree that one of the worst things you can do is to string the person along. So here are a few tips on what to do when you find yourself in a similar position.
Be honest, don't feel guilty and don't be sorry
Experts advise to be honest and direct upfront. Psychotherapist and relationship advisor Christina Steinorth told Canadian Living that the best strategy is to be direct but gentle with your words. Hello Relish gives a possible script for a kind rejection: "I really appreciate your interest, but I just don’t feel the same. I know it may be hard to hear, but I’m not interested in a romantic relationship."
Myisha Battle, M.S. told Mind Body Green to not beat around the bush. "Most people will respect your honest assessment, and if they don't, that's an even bigger sign of incompatibility."
Experts also say to not feel guilty in situations like this. Clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D. also told MBG to think in terms of "we", not "I." "On a neurolinguistic level, we tend to feel negative and guilty if we reject someone. However, if we switch to a 'we're not a good match' mindset, we neutralize the guilt and negativity."
Saying "I'm sorry" would also be a misstep. Apologizing implies that you did something wrong, but it's not true in this situation. Fight the urge to say the classic line "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested." A more clear and powerful statement is one without the "I'm sorry."
Women's Health offers a possible script for rejection without apologizing: "I really appreciate your interest and openness, but I’m not able to reciprocate it. I know it may be hard to hear, but I’m not interested in moving forward."
Put yourself first, but keep in mind that you might still hurt the person's feelings
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Another thing experts recommend is to avoid overexplaining. Rejection should be simple and get straight to the point. "It's easy to over-explain and offer proof of why the person is not a good fit for you," Carla Marie Manly told MBG.
"However, this can often create a rat's nest of questions and negative feelings," she notes. "Avoid overexplaining, rationalizing, or getting into a back-and-forth about how things could possibly work out."
That's where "I" statements come in. Instead of talking about the other person – their appearance, personality traits, etc. – talk from your perspective. Instead of hitting them with "I'm not attracted to you", opt for something softer. Try the "it's me, it's not you" approach. Hello Relish offers some alternatives: "I just don’t feel a romantic connection," or "I am not looking for a relationship right now."
However, sometimes we may hurt the person's feelings even if we did not intend to. Keep in mind that the person had to muster up the courage to approach you and have certain expectations. On the other hand, if you let them down politely and respectfully, what comes next is not your responsibility.
Carla Marie Manly told MBG that "you're not responsible for that person's feelings when your actions were kind and compassionate." Myisha Battle added: "They may have an emotional reaction to your rejection or want to give their own feedback. You can listen and then politely disengage. If you have been honest and kind in your delivery, that's all you're responsible for."
Commenters praised the OP for her deterrence method, while others shared suggestions and similar stories
