No matter how much one loves their partner, they might not love the partner’s family equally as much. And if the feeling between the in-laws is mutual, things can get pretty heated.
For this redditor, things got heated quite literally after his father-in-law served him food that was beyond spicy. The FIL believed that he couldn’t handle Moroccan spices, but the OP ate every bit of it, even though that meant having to take some days to recover and alter the holiday plans.
Relationships with the in-laws can be quite difficult to navigate
Image credits: jeannierv (not the actual image)
This redditor took on his father-in-law’s indirect challenge and was forced to suffer the consequences
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual image)
Image credits: Spicyregretst-away
Views on parenting, politics, money, and career seem to be the main reasons behind strained relationships with the in-laws
One typically hopes to leave a good impression on their partner’s parents, but sometimes they’re not even given a chance to do so. Whether it’s certain prejudice or other beliefs at fault, it makes things needlessly difficult for everyone involved—both the partners and the parents of one of them.
The redditor pointed out that his partner’s parents took a dislike to him the moment they met. He suggested that that was because they believed the OP wasn’t good enough for their son, which is just one of the many reasons parents-in-law might not be fond of their child’s partner.
A survey carried out by the digital lifestyle brand ‘Fatherly’ found that some of the main reasons for a strained relationship with the in-laws were one’s parenting style, politics, money, and career success respectively. It also revealed that while women were seemingly more stressed by such tense relationships, men were not immune to them, either.
While a number of people are seemingly forced to deal with a troublesome in-law, some of the latter tend to engage in what can only be called toxic behavior. According to the founder and director of Black Female Therapist and a licensed professional counselor, Dr. Jenine Lowery, it’s critical to recognize the warning signs of such in-law behavior and take action before it takes a toll on the couple’s relationship.
The inclination towards spicy food is likely related to a person’s risk-taking behavior
Lowery also suggested that when the in-laws say and do things to intentionally hurt their child’s partner, it’s better for the latter not to take their opinions to heart. “Don't worry about what your in-laws think of you,” she told Bustle magazine. “Know your worth; you don't need them to validate you.”
Whether or not the OP was too concerned with what his parents-in-law thought about him, he wasn’t going to let his FIL’s actions slide. When presented with what one could consider throwing down the glove, he decided to take on the challenge and finish the incredibly spicy meal.
Live Science pointed out that the inclination towards spicy foods is likely linked to one’s risk-taking behavior and based on the risk-reward experience. Another theory suggests that it all comes down to personality traits that are reinforced in certain social settings; for example, men in certain areas are more susceptible to external or social motivations for consuming spicy food than women, consequently creating a link between spicy foods and perceived masculinity.
In the OP’s case, the social setting that encouraged him to take the risk with the spicy food was the presence of his parents-in-law, which likely felt more difficult to bear than the heat in his mouth. Unfortunately, the burning sensation affected not only his taste receptors, but the vacation plans, too, which left him wondering if he was a jerk to his partner in the situation.
The OP provided more details to his fellow redditors
Some netizens didn’t consider the OP a jerk for his actions
Others believed the redditor shouldn’t have taken the route that he did
