Some people choose to have children even if they cannot fulfill the responsibilities of parenthood. What they fail to realize is the hurt and possible trauma they are causing to their offspring, who do not deserve to carry such a lifelong burden.
This young woman had been constantly disappointed by her father’s absence and lack of support. But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he prioritized to support his fiancée’s surgery over hers.
The author expressed her disappointment to her father but did not get a response. She is also wondering if she was wrong for telling him off.
Some people are not fit to be parents, and they only cause lifelong trauma to their children
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A teenager constantly disappointed by her father was left heartbroken after he chose his fiancée over her
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She expressed her disappointment and received no response but questioned whether she was wrong for doing so
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Absentee fathers can damage their daughters emotionally, socially, and psychologically
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Although the author has yet to reach adulthood, at 17, she has already borne the brunt of her father’s absence. She has shown some signs of abandonment feelings, which is one of the psychological effects, according to author and academic Dr. Donna L. Roberts.
In an article for Medium, Dr. Roberts mentioned other possible mental drawbacks, such as depression, anxiety, a lack of confidence, and the inability to establish healthy relationships.
Young women who grew up without their fathers may also engage in risky behaviors. Dr. Roberts mentioned vices like alcohol and drugs, as well as promiscuous behavior at a young age, as potential outcomes.
The emotional rollercoaster brought on by the absenteeism is also noteworthy. Dr. Roberts noted that young girls and teenagers may go through episodes of anger, confusion, and sadness. They may also struggle to develop proper coping mechanisms.
Going no contact may be the better option with an absentee parent
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The author experienced constant disappointment from her absentee father and has contemplated going no contact. She may even be resigned and at peace with the idea of not having him around.
According to author and clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson, being aware of the mistreatment and dysfunctionality is one sign to cut ties with a parent.
"Sometimes, our internal growth makes it so that we really can no longer tolerate things that we used to not be even aware of," Dr. Gibson told Business Insider in an interview.
The author's continuous letdowns are also good reasons to avoid contact. According to psychology professor Dr. Leslie Halpern, there is no point in maintaining hurtful relationships.
"Recognizing that spending time apart from them is important to one's own mental health," Dr. Halpern told Parents.com.
Family estrangement can be harsh for some people, and it seems that way for the author. But if necessary, she may need to take such measures.
Evaluating what kind of relationship she wants with her father is a good first step. As licensed family counselor Andrew Roffman points out, familial relationships will continue on an emotional level, albeit inactively. In such cases, limited interactions may be another option.
The author says she is open to having a relationship with her dad despite all the pain he caused her.
However, it may be helpful for her to assess how present she wants her father to be. She has been through enough and owes it to herself to find peace and happiness, with or without him in her life.
The author provided more information
Most readers showed their support for her
Those who sided against her felt she failed to consider the fiancée’s condition
