Probably most parents would agree that they want to spend as much time as possible with their kids and it feels that it’s never enough. We often hear them saying that kids grow so fast and soon they won’t even want to spend their free time with their parents. However, sometimes, due to working hours, it’s hard to spend as much time together as they would like to spend with their kids.
This Reddit user found himself in quite a bit of drama after he decided to take his son to the arcade and spend the time alone and let’s just say - mom didn’t take it too well.
More info: Reddit
Bonding with a kid is one of the most important and beloved times for most parents
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
This man shares that he works long hours on weekdays, and on weekends, when he spends time with his 7 Y.O. son, his wife is always around, thus he never gets to spend alone time with him
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
So one weekend, he decided to take his son to a local arcade where they had a great time together, but when they came back, his wife was upset and left the house
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
He shares that a few hours later, he got a text from his wife’s sister saying that his wife got drunk and wouldn’t stop crying that he doesn’t love her and doesn’t want to spend time with her
Image credits: u/Dismal-Coyote-7858
The next day, the man decided to take a day off work and spend the time with his wife, but she just said that she didn’t want to and left the house in the rush
A few days ago, a Reddit user posted his story asking for community members’ opinions on whether he was being a jerk for wanting to spend alone time with his 7-year-old son without his wife hovering around them. The post caught quite a lot of attention and collected over 1.4K upvotes and almost 1K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts his story by sharing that he has a 7-year-old son, but doesn’t get to spend as much time together due to his long working hours. However, on weekends when he does, his wife always hovers around him. He noted that he never gets to have alone time with his son while his wife gets to be with him every day. Thus, one weekend, he decided to take his son to a local arcade.
He noted that they had a blast as it was probably the first time in a year that they got to do something just the two of them. However, once they came back home, the wife didn’t talk to OP and stormed out of the house. A few hours later, the man received a text from his wife’s sister saying that she got blackout drunk and wouldn’t stop sobbing, saying that he doesn’t love her and doesn’t want to spend time with her.
The next morning, she refused to speak with OP but in the evening called him a jerk and said he should never try to take their child away from her. He added that the following day, he decided to take a day off and spend time with his wife, but she just said she didn't want to and left the house.
The community members discussed that he was not wrong for wanting to spend time with his kid and suggested couple’s counseling. “It sounds like your wife needs to see a therapist. This is not a mentally healthy mindset,” one user wrote. “I think it is important to spend one-on-one time with kids as well as family time. Your wife is being selfish. It has nothing to do with her,” another noted.
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Luis Maimoni, LMFT, who is a marriage and family therapist, and he kindly agreed to share his professional insights regarding this case. “Clearly, something more than time with his son is at work here,” he noted.
Luis also shared that the husband needs to ensure that his wife gets a thorough medical evaluation, including bloodwork. “If it turns out there is a physiological problem (cancer, brain tumor, hormone imbalance), all sorts of behaviors can result. The husband is not a trained observer of his wife, and reports no other out-of-the ordinary behavior. What isn't he seeing?”
“Questions in my mind might include: What is the wife's history of trauma? Does she have a hidden drug or alcohol habit? Is the wife trying to hide something?” Luis pointed out that the husband is going to have to talk with people his wife and son interact with, including his son’s school.
We also asked Luis how vital it is to engage in individual bonding moments with the child and spend time on family activities together - “Family time and individual time are both important. The relationships created during this stage of the child's life pay off over the rest of the child's life.”
Finally, the therapist shared that before achieving the balance between family time and individual bonding time with their kid, parents need to figure out what is actually happening in the relationship and address it. “I'd like to see the husband approach his wife with caring and compassion, despite his frustration and irritation,” he noted.
However, Luis pointed out that there is a potential happy ending here - “It's clear from the story that husband and wife have a huge disconnect. This is their opportunity to rediscover each other and reconnect,” he emphasized. “Husband expressed a willingness to work less if the wife could work; this could be an excellent solution for them both.”
He shared that if they can find a way to turn towards each other, instead of working against each other, they can emerge a stronger couple. But what do you think about this story? How would you suggest the husband deal with it? Share your thoughts below!
Redditors assured the man that he has every right to spend time with his son and his wife was overreacting in this situation
