Father Says 11-Year-Old Daughter Is Getting Fat, Mother Refuses To Decrease Her Food Portion Sizes

For many adolescents, entering into puberty brings a lot of intense emotions, confusion, and stress. This period of change makes them really susceptible to developing eating disorders. In fact, about 2.7% of 13-to-18-year-olds in the US have one.

So when it comes to her own daughter, Reddit user u/Similar-Ad-831 wants her to have as healthy of a relationship with food as possible. The mom tries to do that by encouraging conscious eating rather than establishing harsh rules.

But her husband, who has had a difficult relationship with food for most of his life, argues the opposite.

Mary Anne, a mother and writer from Silicon Valley who runs the blog Mama Smiles – Joyful Parenting, told Bored Panda that one of the most effective ways people can help their kids form a healthy relationship with food is by setting an example.

"Seek help for yourself from health professionals if your own relationship with food is difficult," Mary Anne said. "Consult with your child's pediatrician, who may refer you to a nutritionist or other health experts if you are concerned about your teen's eating habits."

Eating disorders are no joke. Young people between the ages of 15 and 24 with anorexia, for example, have 10 times the risk of dying compared to their same-aged peers.

Nowadays, girls start to express concerns about what the scales are saying incredibly early in their life. 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat.

Parents play a big role in establishing how their kids view their bodies as children of those who are overly concerned about their weight are at increased risk for modeling their unhealthy attitudes and behaviors.

Weight stigma poses a significant threat physically but also to one's psychological well-being. It has been regarded as a significant risk factor for depression, low self-esteem, and body dissatisfaction.

"One may experience [eating disorders] as an anxious state of mind, a depressed mood, or may have a mix of anxiety and depression," Anna Hindell, LCSW-R, a psychotherapist based in New York, explained. "Turning to control and restricting food intake or becoming addicted to binging and purging is always a symptom or effect of an underlying feeling that the person lives with. It is usually some unresolved feeling related to low self-esteem, lack of worth, or repressed trauma. People turn to the attempt at controlling food intake or eating their emotions instead of dealing with the underlying problem, if untreated."

Experts at the Crisis & Trauma Resource Institute say that helping children develop a healthy relationship with food doesn't require restrictions – with the exception of allergies and sensitivities, or religious and cultural guidelines, no food needs to be banned.

"The best way to regulate a teen's diet is to stock your house with healthy, easy-to-eat food and to model good eating habits yourself," Mary Anne added. She has 5 easy mood-boosting recipes for teens on her blog that are an excellent starting point.

"It's important to remember that teens have different nutritional needs from adults, so what is healthy for you may not be healthy for your teen. I recommend taking any concerns to a health practitioner for advice, as relationships with food become complicated and unhealthy easily."

It's important to remember that teens have different nutritional needs from adults, so what is healthy for you may not be healthy for your teen. I recommend taking any concerns to a health practitioner for advice, as relationships with food become complicated and unhealthy easily.

Families should avoid categorizing foods as “good” or “bad” as labels such as “junk food”, “healthy” or “unhealthy” can set the stage for people to restrict, sneak, or overindulge in foods they see as forbidden.

It's a much better idea to strive to be a positive role model and focus on building helpful habits. Like including veggies in lunch and supper or trying at least one bite of the item on your plate that you don't think you'll like.

It sounds like u/Similar-Ad-831 is on the right track. I hope her family comes around.