Lots of people might say that their mom is their best friend. If they have a close relationship, love spending time together and open up to one another about anything and everything, it might truly feel like they’re BFFs. But being too close with your children can become an issue if it starts to hinder their personal relationships…
One woman recently reached out to Reddit for advice after her fiancé’s mother decided that the bride shouldn’t be wearing white to her own wedding. Below, you’ll find the full story of this family drama, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
This woman is excited to be wedding planning with the love of her life
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But when his mother decided that she shouldn't wear a white dress, the bride considered calling off the wedding altogether
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Past-Professional384
Readers were quick to call out their concerns, and the bride joined in on the conversation to share more details
Later, the bride returned with an update after talking to her fiancé
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GeorgeRudy / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Past-Professional384
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In-laws aren’t always welcoming towards new members of the family
It’s certainly not uncommon for women to have issues with their mother-in-law. In fact, a study by psychologist Terri Apter found that a whopping 75% of couples admit that they’ve had issues with an in-law. But why exactly is this? Aren’t we supposed to be on our best behavior with people that we’re not technically related to?
Madeleine A. Fugère, PhD, explained in a blog post for Psychology Today that one reason for this family drama might be the fact that parents often have an idea of who they want their child to end up with. If the partner that their child chooses is a freelance artist, rather than a prestigious lawyer, Mom and Dad might have a hard time accepting them into the family.
Or, perhaps the person chosen to join the family comes from a less affluent background. If your parents have always pictured you ending up with someone who goes to the same country club as them, they might be less than welcoming. But Fugère also notes that their discomfort may have to do with how you look.
If someone is too attractive, their partner’s parents might be intimidated by them. Or perhaps, they’ll wonder if they’re actually going to be faithful to their beloved child. And when it comes to mothers of men in particular, Fugère says that these “boy moms” sometimes discourage romantic relationships without even realizing.
If a mother is close with her son, she might have a hard time accepting the fact that she won’t be the most important woman in his life anymore. She may try to drive a wedge between her son and his partner in an attempt to bring him closer to her once again.
Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s never fair for parents to control their children
While the mom in this story might believe that she’s simply a concerned and loving mother, many commented that her behavior towards her son is inappropriate. And she might be exhibiting signs of a form of emotional manipulation.
According to Charlie Health, it’s unhealthy for parents to overshare details of their romantic relationships with their children, discuss their marital issues with their kids, put their own emotional needs above their child’s needs, become jealous of their child’s relationships and make their child feel guilty for not agreeing with all of their demands.
Why do parents act this way towards their kids? Well, they might be struggling with unresolved mental health issues, have never learned healthy boundaries, have trust issues or not have access to a support system. But those aren’t valid excuses to take advantage of their children or manipulate their emotions.
When parents use their kids in these ways, it can hinder the child’s ability to develop healthy emotional boundaries. So instead of telling his mother “no,” the man in this story may have felt like he had to accept whatever she asked of him, no matter what. Adults might also struggle making their own decisions if they were raised in a household where they were treated this way by Mom and Dad.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride was overreacting, or was she right to set boundaries with her fiancé’s mother? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes right here!
Readers applauded the woman for setting boundaries and wished her luck before her conversation with her fiancé's mother
Finally, the bride came back with one last update
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: monkeybusiness / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: lucigerma / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Amine İspir / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: zamrznutitonovi / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Past-Professional384
Readers poured out support for the woman in the replies
