It’s OK to be reserved, just like it’s OK to be all out there. It just depends on where all of that is and whether it’s appropriate to be that.
After all, there are more or less one or two things you can be at a, say, funeral. And if you’re the kind of guy who laughs at those, well, then, don’t be surprised to get an awkward stare. Or a dozen of them.
But those are extremes and social norms are often more subtle. Like take this one situation, for instance: singing “happy birthday” may or may not be awkward in and of itself for many reasons—singing off key included—but it becomes even more so if it’s done in a shared public place, like a restaurant, and even more more so so if the restaurant is on the higher end of the classiness spectrum.
More Info: Reddit
Picture yourself in a fancy restaurant, dining with your fiance and his 5-year-old, celebrating his b-day... and then the dad starts singing happy birthday... loudly
Image credits: Angie Chapman (not the actual photo)
So, OP is a 30-year-old woman who’s dating a 36-year-old guy who’s a dad to a 5-year-old boy. The couple has been together for a year and a half at this point, and the kid—who’s from the fiance’s previous relationship—has seemingly been a part of the relationship as much as the couple itself. But not how you'd think.
While OP does think the kid’s lovely and all, he seems to be a part of absolutely everything on account that the dad, OP’s fiance, has been taking him everywhere with him because he’s 5… even places that OP deems not-so-kid-friendly.
Turns out, OP is not a fan of one-person acapella in posh settings, which led to a little family fight that the AITA community ended
Image credits: ThrowRaBirthdaysong5
This one time, the three went to a pretty classy restaurant. That in and of itself seemed to OP a bit unfitting, but then a birthday cake appeared. And soon after, the dad kicked off a loud song to the tune of “happy birthday.”
At this point, OP was reading the room—a lot of awkward looks coming their way, making OP uncomfortable and even embarrassed. Nobody intervened—not the people dining nearby, not the staff, nobody—further surprising OP and her take on social norms. In fact, there was one person who actually offered to film the whole thing.
A short while later, the fiance noticed that something was wrong. One sarcastic remark from OP later, an argument ensued over how she felt embarrassed because of the whole singing thing.
Image credits: ThrowRaBirthdaysong5
Image credits: Dark Dwarf (not the actual photo)
His side was that they were celebrating the kid’s big day, and the dad was trying to cheer him up. Turns out, his mother is sick, hence all the time he’s been spending with the dad. OP, however, thought they’d be celebrating at home, in privacy, where loud songs would not embarrass or bother anyone.
The fiance took this as OP being embarrassed of him and his son. So, he got upset and stopped talking to her altogether. She felt it was harsh, but passed on the question onto the r/AITA community.
And, let me tell you, they were not in favor of OP. Folks didn’t see the situation of a dad singing happy birthday to his son in a restaurant as embarrassing. They saw OP sulking in anger as embarrassing. And this is besides the fact that he was doing so to cheer him up, apart from all else that birthday celebrations entail.
Folks online were of the opinion that since it didn't really bother anyone, and it was all to cheer up a 5-year-old, OP was hence wrong
Others pointed out that, with that attitude, OP shouldn’t even consider dating anyone with kids. They were skeptical of OP actually being ready to share her partner with the kid, getting only part of his time and attention. Because there is no other way, and the son will always be a priority.
If anything, if the staff did not butt in, and if none of the other patrons approached them saying it was inappropriate, then things were fine. And so the verdict of who’s the a-hole in all of this landed on OP.
The post got some attention on the subreddit, garnering nearly 10,000 upvotes with a handful of Reddit awards, and generating 5,300 comments in discussion. You can check out the post here.
Or, you can alternatively check out some other AITA stories that we’ve recently covered, like this one, or this one, or even this one. You know what, have one more for good measure.
But before you jump on the hyperlink train, why not scroll down to the comment section and share your thoughts about who’s right and who’s wrong. And while you’re at it, share your fancy restaurant stories if you got any!
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