As beautiful as love is, it can also distort reality. This complex and powerful emotion can lead a person to believe they have fallen for someone when, in reality, they have developed deep feelings for what the individual represents.
Many people have gone down this road, and this couple is one example. Here, the man suddenly upped and left his fiancée to get back with his high school sweetheart, who by all accounts was “the one that got away.”
However, he eventually realized his mistake and came crawling back to the woman he was about to marry.
Love can be blinding for some people
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For this couple, the problem began when a man met up with his high school sweetheart, much to the dismay of his fiancée
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After the meet-up, he slowly distanced himself from his current partner
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The couple broke up, and the woman began the healing process
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik (not the actual photo)
But a few weeks later, he reached out to her, attempting to reconcile
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The man expressed deep regret, leaving his former girlfriend in utter confusion
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Image credits: anon
Genetics makes people conjure up an image of an “ideal partner”
The woman’s fiancé said it himself: “I was in love with what she represented.” He admitted to having feelings for the idealized version of his high school sweetheart, something he may have conjured up himself.
Experts say this is all part of how we are wired as humans. According to University of Toronto researcher Mariana Bockarova, the image and definition of an “ideal partner” comes from life experiences, how we are nurtured, and genetics.
As she noted in an article for Psychology Today, these preferences “put forth a benchmark from which we evaluate the person before us in terms of suitability.”
“Research has shown that the more our romantic partners match our ideals across several traits, the more positively we see them,” Bockarova wrote.
Bockarova further explained that people tend to blind themselves to aspects of a potential romantic partner once they have gleaned surface characteristics.
She added that our brains are inherently wired to look at these prospects through rose-colored glasses, making us ignore everything, including whatever may be wrong in the situation.
“We need others to survive, and being around them tends to feel good, too,” Bockarova noted.
While that may be the case, it does not excuse the man for the pain and suffering he caused the woman he was set to marry. That then begs the question: can the two fix things?
According to Very Well Mind, part of it is accepting responsibility, which the man did. However, the other half of the equation is the willingness to forgive, which the woman does not seem to have.
Her refusal to get back together was her way of protecting her peace, something she was very much entitled to, given the ordeal she went through.
People in the comments began asking questions and sharing similar experiences
The woman shared an update
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According to her, things have only become more complicated despite distancing herself
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She began contemplating getting the authorities involved after the harassment she experienced
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Advice from commenters began pouring in
The author shared her final update a few years later
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She stated how her ex remained unhappy despite getting married and having children with the other woman
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People in the comments gave it to her straight
