When a couple decides to throw a wedding, there are a lot of things for them to consider. When it's going to take place, where, what they're going to wear, and who they're going to invite. All of these questions can be quite a headache for the couple.
Well, for the one in today's story, the latter question became kind of dramatic. At first, it was all alright; they had a nice guest list without any complications. Until one day, the man's ex insisted that they should invite her daughter, who was once close to the man, but no longer is. This made the bride-to-be beyond confused and sent her down a rather interesting mental spiral.
More info: Mumsnet
When organizing a wedding, there are a lot of decisions to be made, and sometimes it can cause some trouble within the couple
Image credits: iddea photo / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Here, in today's story, a problem for a couple arrived when it came to their wedding guest list
Image credits: Lukeuppy
Image credits: Casey Horner / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
To be more specific, when out of the blue, the man's ex asked for her daughter to be included in the celebration
Image credits: Lukeuppy
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Mind you, as far as the woman knew, her fiancé hadn't had contact with this girl for years, so why would they invite her?
Image credits: Lukeuppy
Yet, when she started digging into this situation a little deeper and even posted about it online, things started unraveling
The OP’s ex has a stepdaughter from his previous relationship. Not all stepparents have excellent relationships with their stepkids. Some do not want to improve them, and others struggle even when they want to.
Sometimes a child does not wish to have an additional parent who isn’t their biological one. It might be hard for them to accept that this ‘stranger’ now can make decisions that affect them, discipline them, and all things of a similar kind.
The OP’s husband didn't have this problem with his stepdaughter. He was with her mom when the girl was around 1 to 3 years old and was very involved in her day-to-day upbringing. Then, when the couple broke up, since there was no formal custody, over time, he faded out of the dad role. So, there is no parental relationship left or anything.
Now, he and the post’s author are planning their wedding this autumn. Then, out of the blue, the man’s ex reached out and asked whether her girl could attend the party. This made the OP beyond confused – why would she? The kid wasn’t a part of their lives, and the woman hadn't even met her once, so why should she be invited?
After all, typically, only people who are somehow involved in a couple's lives are invited to the wedding. So, like friends, close family and relatives, maybe family friends, chosen family, and so on. You know, the people who mean a lot to the couple and want to celebrate their big day with them.
In the case of this story, the ex’s daughter doesn’t really fit any criteria. Yes, back in the day, she was kind of like family, but time has passed since then, circumstances have changed, and that doesn’t really apply anymore. The man doesn’t even pay child support or anything – there are no ties except the past.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So, it’s understandable why the OP was uncomfortable with such an idea. She wanted the day to be with people from their present, not with ghosts from the past. Plus, adding an additional person to a wedding that already has a tight budget (they were forced to cut out some of the cousins) seems unreasonable, too.
Granted, the man didn’t push this idea too hard, but he managed to express that it might be nice to have the girl there. He said that since she might remember him, it might mean a lot to her to attend.
When the OP posted the whole story on the internet, some netizens dropped some comments that made her reevaluate the whole situation. So, she confronted her husband-to-be about it. He admitted that he actually kind of keeps in touch with the girl’s mom and that she even remembers him, but he never mentioned it before, because it didn’t seem significant.
This made the woman wonder – what if the girl is actually his? Like that would make more sense in the grand scheme of things. Such doubts clouded everything so badly that the wedding was put on hold so she could figure everything out. She just can’t simply pretend it’s nothing.
We’re curious – what’s your opinion? What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Please, share in the comments!
In the end, she put the wedding on pause so she could figure it out – is this girl really not his?
