As so many movies and television shows have demonstrated, getting cold feet before one’s wedding is completely normal and nothing to worry about. It’s only in some extreme cases that folks act on those feelings, which can then lead to major fallout.
This is unfortunately what happened to a woman just months before her wedding, when her fiancé couldn’t make up his mind about whether he wanted to get married, and then finally called it off. Even though she was devastated, he just wanted to keep the relationship going as usual.
More info: Reddit
Getting jilted by someone you were planning to marry can be an emotionally overwhelming experience to deal with
Image credits: lookstudio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster observed that her fiancé never stood up for her during wedding planning when his mother tried to force her opinions, and later he began questioning getting married
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The man kept changing his mind about going through with the wedding and eventually called it off, which caused the poster a lot of pain as she had to inform everyone about it
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Even though the couple seemed to have a lot of issues regarding boundaries and personal space, the man still wanted to work things through, while the poster felt heartbroken
Image credits: strategic_idiot
Eventually, the woman began questioning whether trust could even be rebuilt after her partner called the wedding off, or whether their relationship couldn’t be salvaged
Even though the woman and her fiancé had been together for 4 years, it seems like they weren’t on the same page about certain things. One big issue they kept facing was that the man’s mother wanted to be part of every wedding decision, even though the poster felt uncomfortable with it.
When dealing with overbearing in-laws, professionals advise being patient and calmly discussing the issue with your partner without judgment. This can help put your point of view across and make it easier for them to bring up the problem with their parents and set boundaries.
It’s clear that the poster tried her best to get her fiancé to stand up for her to his mom, but this didn’t happen at all. Instead, he began overthinking their wedding plans and told the woman he was questioning things. Even when she tried to work things out with him, he said that he didn’t want to be with her, and that he was done.
It can be extremely heartbreaking to give your all to someone, just for them to be indecisive or unsure about their relationship with you. That’s why marriage experts say that if a loved one can’t make up their mind about you, it might be due to their own fear and insecurity, and this can slowly end up causing resentment.
Image credits: mike.shots / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Even though the poster’s wedding was no longer happening, she didn’t know how to mourn her relationship properly because her partner still wanted to be with her. He thought they'd be able to work things out, but he didn’t really explain why he had flip-flopped on his decision to end the marriage.
In situations like this, when a wedding is called off, research shows that both parties often feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment. Even the person who is canceling the event may feel insecure or worried about other people’s opinions, while their partner may experience sadness and anxiety about the road ahead.
The problem was that the poster was left with the uncomfortable task of informing everyone that the marriage was off. This left her devastated and made her grieve the future that she had been planning with her fiancé. She also realized that none of their issues had been solved, and that he just expected her to fix things about herself.
Eventually, the woman reached out to people online, asking whether her relationship was salvageable and whether trust could be rebuilt after her wedding was called off. Based on the red-flag warnings people gave her online, hopefully the woman later reflected on the situation and decided how to deal with her indecisive partner.
What advice do you have for the poster, and do you think she should continue being with the man who called off their wedding? Do share your opinions in the comments below.
People told the woman to end things with her partner immediately, and that he’d never stop being a toxic momma’s boy
