Getting a new tattoo is always exciting. Whether it’s full of meaning or only intended to be aesthetic, once you’ve gotten some fresh ink, you’ll probably be thrilled to show it off to your loved ones.
But when one man saw the new tattoo that his girlfriend got to “memorialize” his brother, he was immediately horrified. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man recently shared on Reddit while seeking advice on how to navigate this difficult situation, as well as some of the replies invested readers left him.
This man tragically lost his brother three years ago
Image credits: hryshchyshen / freepik (not the actual photo)
Now, his fiancée has decided that the perfect way to memorialize him is with a tattoo of his face
Image credits: davit85 / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: audicarmicheal
Later, the author responded to several comments and shared more details about the situation
Many readers assured the man that he had every right to be upset
After having another conversation with his fiancée about the tattoo, the author shared an update
Image credits: drobotdean / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aldiozzz / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: audicarmicheal
He joined in on the conversation again to share more information
Readers became increasingly concerned about the relationship, and some suggested ending the engagement
Finally, the author shared an update revealing that the relationship was over
Image credits: DC Studio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: KamranAydinov / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: diana.grytsku / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: audicarmicheal
"She's always seemed eager to make me happy"
To find out more about this situation, we got in touch with the author who shared this post, Reddit user Audicarmicheal. He was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share another brief update.
"There has been slight progress. Last night I spoke to my parents about it, and while they did support me, they asked me to try to remedy things with my ex, which I rejected entirely," he noted. "I've planned to go either tomorrow or the day after tomorrow with a friend to get my stuff when she isn't home from work yet."
The OP also noted that he was extremely surprised by how his ex reacted to his concerns about the tattoo. "I honestly can't put it into words," he says. "I thought she'd comply easily because she's always seemed eager to make me happy, as I am to her too. Especially with something so crazy, I didn't expect her to fight against it. It shook me up way too much."
Finally, we asked the author what he thought of the responses to his post. "I did find most of the replies helpful," he told Bored Panda. "Though the ones suggesting she was cheating on me with my brother pricked my heart. There's also the regular trolls that are easy enough to navigate. Most were good and insightful, though."
Grieving the loss of a sibling can be extremely painful
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Losing a sibling can turn your world upside down in an instant. While it’s always heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to a loved one, it can be even more shocking and confusing to lose a brother or sister. We grow up by their side, and we never imagine ourselves living in a world without them. But unfortunately, Verywell Mind notes that sibling grief and loss are too often ignored.
After someone tragically passes away, people are often only concerned about their parents, their romantic partner and their own children. But this loss can take a huge toll on their brothers and sisters, as well as cause drastic changes to the family dynamic.
Losing a sibling might mean the loss of an extremely close relationship, and their surviving brothers and sisters often feel profound guilt for simply living. If the person lost their life due to an illness, their siblings may develop an extreme fear of themselves or someone else in their family going the same way. And as with any significant loss, it’s common to go through the Five Stages of Grief.
We have no way of knowing how much the author of this post and his partner discussed the passing of his brother, but it’s likely that she did not understand the full extent of what he was going through, especially because she has no siblings of her own.
When it comes to memorializing a lost loved one, it’s generally a good idea. They deserve to be remembered, and it can soothe us to know that we’ve done something to honor our late loved ones. And getting a tattoo can be a great reminder of a friend, family member or pet that has passed on.
Showing any signs of violence is a huge red flag in a relationship
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
According to a piece Vinita Mehta, PhD, wrote for Psychology Today, there are several reasons why people are so drawn to tattoos when looking to memorialize someone. The first reason is because of their permanence. The tattoo will always be there, meaning that the person will never be forgotten.
These tattoos can also be a great way to manage grief or start conversations about the loved one in the future. They’re a way for someone to feel like they still have a bond with their lost loved one, and they can feel like a transformation of self, as the person has been changed by this significant loss in their life.
But there’s a big difference between getting a memorial tattoo for your own sibling and someone that you had only met a few times. Many readers pointed out that the author had every right to ask his partner to remove the tattoo. And what became even more concerning was the way she reacted to his request and the accidental bowl of spaghetti ending up in her lap.
JBWS warns that it’s important to be able to spot the warning signs of a toxic and potentially ab*sive relationship. And one of the biggest red flags is a partner who reacts by throwing items, punching walls or displaying violent gestures when upset. They might not have ever laid a hand on their partner, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t in the future.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man made the right decision by choosing to end his relationship? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring similar relationship drama, look no further than right here.
Readers applauded the man for getting out of the relationship, and he joined in on the conversation one last time
