Learning something that is likely to be detrimental for the family is never easy. It gets arguably even more difficult when it’s a secret that might hurt a person you love.
For this redditor, it was suspicions about their dad being unfaithful that seemingly tore them apart. When they saw signs that he might be having an affair, they weren’t sure if they should tell their mom—or anyone else, for that matter—but fellow netizens suggested gathering more evidence before taking any actions that could significantly affect the family’s life.
Scroll down to find the full story and the netizens’ reactions below, where you will also find more details, which the OP shared in a recent interview with Bored Panda.
Keeping something that might hurt the people you love a secret is not an easy thing to do
Image credits: Adrian Swancar / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This person suspected that their dad might be having an affair and they weren’t sure who—if anyone—to tell
Image credits: 22pumpkins
Image credits: LARAM / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: 22pumpkins
Some people can’t keep their affair a secret and confess to their partners themselves
Keeping something a secret can be fun and exciting; when your friend asks you for help proposing to their loved one, for instance, but asks you to keep it a secret until they pop the question. However, arguably more times than not, secrecy leads to someone’s feelings getting hurt or life turned completely upside down.
Learning that someone you love is unfaithful can definitely do both of these things. Unfortunately, quite a few people find themselves in such an unfortunate situation, whether they figure it out themselves or learn about their partner’s affair from others. Some research suggests that just over half (52%) of people who have had an affair have come clean to their partner themselves; nearly as many (48%) have admitted having one to their friend.
Data from the last 60 years show that while not consistently, the number of people who have been unfaithful to their current or previous partner has been on the rise. In 2021, as much as 21% of Americans admitted having cheated on their partner at least once.
The reason for having an affair can influence its length and people’s emotional involvement
Image credits: Anna Pou / pexels (not the actual photo)
Needless to say, the reasons why a committed person would go looking for affection in someone else’s, rather than their partner’s, arms differ from person to person. But a study based on a survey of close to 500 respondents found that there were eight main motivating forces, which influenced everything from the length of the affair, to how much they enjoyed it, how invested they were in it, and whether or not it consequently ended their original relationship.
The eight reasons included anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance. The research found that people who “reported feeling less connected to their primary partner experienced greater emotional intimacy in the affair, perhaps as a way of fulfilling that need. Similarly, when infidelity was linked to lack of love, individuals found the experience more intellectually and emotionally satisfying,” Scientific American reports.
No matter the reason behind it, infidelity is not something one is usually proud of; therefore, most people tend to keep it a secret. After seeing their dad’s route after work, the OP felt that he, too, might have been keeping a secret, but fellow netizens suggested not to make any rash decisions or accuse him of something that they had no proof of.
In a recent interview with Bored Panda, the OP shared that that was the first time they had tracked their father’s route. “I agree that tracking my dad was a bit over the top but not my intentions were not macabre,” they said.
So far, they haven't told any of their family members about their suspicions; they’ve only talked with two people about it, neither one of whom is a family member. “I think it wouldn’t really benefit anyone to have that information, at least for now, if I ever hear my mom is not happy at home then I’ll tell her about that.”
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts on the situation
The OP replied to some of their comments and questions
