Despite society evolving every day, people fighting to break certain stereotypes and make others feel safer when expressing their views and beliefs, there are still those who are affected by these useless categorizations of people. One of those examples is toxic masculinity, which pressures people into thinking that a “real” man is the one who is tough, keeps his feelings to himself at all times, and holds physical and social power. There is no need to say that this kind of thinking is harmful and disastrous, putting men in a difficult position. It’s even worse when a person is exposed to such stereotypes from a young age. This is why Reddit user @u/balletnephew decided to share a situation that occurred in his family and ask others online whether he was right to stop his brother from shedding wrongful thinking onto his 7-year-old son after he expressed his interest in ballet dancing.
More Info: Reddit
While we might think that we live in times when everyone has the right to do what they want, the reality is quite different for those who want to oppose certain stereotypes
Image credits: Thanth Lien (not the actual image)
The man started his post by sharing that his girlfriend is a great ballet dancer. He also revealed that she’s a lovely and talented person whom his little nephew also adores very much. Because of their bond over ballet, the boy even shared that he would like to become a dancer himself one day too. Despite this being great, having in mind that now the nephew has some kind of hobby that he is passionate about, his dad didn’t really like this idea.
Reddit user shared a situation where he had to stop his brother from pushing certain gender stereotypes on his 7-year-old son
Image credits: u/balletnephew
The author of the post also revealed some information about his brother and how once he got his girlfriend pregnant, then decided to leave her and not be involved in the kid’s life. OP shared that despite his brother’s inappropriate behavior, their family stepped in and helped the woman raise the boy. It took a while for the man to change his mind and become more involved in his son’s life. Even though the mother of the kid still had full custody of the boy, she allowed the man to take care of his son.
The man has never been a very reliable father figure, but he was sure about not wanting his son to be a dancer
Image credits: u/balletnephew
The situation that got OP mad started when the 7-year-old’s mom was hospitalized, so the man and his girlfriend took his nephew to take care of him. Everything seemed okay, as the boy loves spending time with the man’s girlfriend who would do her stretches in the living room, and the boy would also join her. This, however, didn’t seem okay with the boy’s father, who would start saying things such as that this doesn’t make his son masculine enough, and that he’s going to grow up to be gay. The woman didn’t take this seriously and tried to ease the situation so there would be no real conflict about it.
To his horror, the 7-year-old boy was fascinated by ballet and his uncle's girlfriend who is a professional ballet dancer
Image credits: The Chapman Cultural Center (not the actual image)
The whole thing became much more heated when OP’s girlfriend bought some online ballet classes and some things for the boy to practice and during one of their classes, the dad found them in the living room and once again started an argument saying that he doesn’t want his son to be a dancer, accusing his brother’s girlfriend. The woman remained calm and friendly, but her boyfriend then yelled at his brother to leave the boy alone, or otherwise, he won’t let him see his son again.
Once the woman saw the boy was interested, she encouraged him to train with her, but this idea wasn't something that his dad approved of
Image credits: u/balletnephew
The man tried to say something but his brother soon put him into his place by threatening to not let him see his son anymore
Image credits: u/balletnephew
While he thought that he did the right thing, the man’s girlfriend thought that there was no need to tell the boy’s dad such things. Because of this reason, he decided to share this story with others online and see some other opinions on the situation. A lot of users agreed with the man’s actions and were quite outraged seeing that the man who at first didn’t even bother to take proper care of his son now suddenly had such a strong opinion on how he wanted his kid to be raised.
After the argument, the author of the post started doubting whether he did the right thing
Image credits: u/balletnephew
What is serious in this situation is that the father exposed his son to a distorted view of what manliness is. According to VeryWell Mind, toxic masculinity follows and encourages unhealthy habits such as pushing your physical boundaries when doing sports, avoiding doctors, and suppressing one’s feelings in order to remain strong and indestructible in others' eyes. Those who are affected by toxic masculinity believe in strict gender roles, and describe certain activities as “manly” or “womanly”. For this reason, such people don’t understand men who want to become a designer or a dancer.
Because of this reason, the 7-year-old's uncle shared this situation on Reddit to find out what others think about it
Image credits: Jaysin Trevino (not the actual image)
The problem of strictly defined gender roles and toxic masculinity is also seen in the world of ballet where, although male dancers are as important as female ones, men are discouraged from this form of art because they are then viewed as “gay”, “feminine”, or “not manly enough”. And this does sound ironic knowing how much physical and mental strength a person needs to become a professional dancer, very often needing the same amount of preparation as professional athletes, if not greater.
What is your take on this situation? Don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
People online supported the author of the post and were glad that there was someone who stood up for the boy and his interests
Some people where quick to add that there are a lot of great man figures who are ballet dancers or are into it
Image credits: u/balletnephew
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.