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Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind wishes. I should clarify, this is my wife, and we've been married for less than a year. The upside is we have separate property, and nothing joined. I have taken this as a learning experience, it's bad, don't get me wrong, but I guess you could say I've grown up a lot from this. There was a quote another user showed me that really stuck out to me Red flags look normal when you're wearing rose colored glasses There was a lot of sketchy things going on and because of this, I was sure I had to leave for my own mental health, as well as because I can't trust her. But, to anyone else going through this, stay strong, it gets better. I'm in a new town with literally 0 friends here, and I'm still finding a way to move on, one step, one day at a time. Feel free to message me, anyone if you want to talk, not just about this but about anything, life can feel very lonely, especially when people have chosen sides on this. Stay strong all, I believe in you
It seems that nowadays, cheaters are a dime a dozen. When the Dating Advice team conducted a survey, they were shocked to discover that 83% of the 1,000 people polled had been in a cheating relationship. The site reveals that the stats climbed to a "staggering" 93% among Gen Z, compared to 80% for millennials.
The same survey found that most cheaters were exposed when their partner snooped through phones and find incriminating texts and DMs. "Unusual credit card statements, like hotel charges, catch 16% of men and 10% of women," adds the Dating Advice site. "34% of millennials confront their partners about cheating suspicions, while 22% of Gen-Z’s do the same."
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At the time I was home with our kids and I thought she was 1,800 miles away to be with her dying father. Two years later we are divorced and her father is still alive.
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**Editing to answer the main question I'm being asked... I found out about the affair because she was sobbing like she was very close to him but I didn't recognize her.
I asked who she was and she told me everything. I then asked my family to make her leave because my kids were there and I didn't want to make a scene.
Quite a few cheaters got caught thanks to dating apps, while others were simply careless. "Physical evidence is one of the most common reasons that Gen-Z cheaters get caught, with 19.82% of those surveyed admitting that it’s a found item (such as perfume receipts, flowers, or a condom) that traps them," the survey noted.
Sometimes, the guilty party decides to confess. The survey found that 26.01% of millennials say they’ve voluntarily owned up to their cheating. "Gen-Zers, on the other hand, are a bit more guarded, with just 18.17% of people aged 18-27 voluntarily admitting their guilt," it notes.
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A similar survey, conducted Down Under, revealed that 1 in 5 of the Australians polled had cheated. Surprisingly, 41% of them said they'd confessed to their who’ve confessed to their partner. But experts warn the real reasons for doing so should be examined.
“Confessing is interesting, it’s like, who’s it for?” says relationship therapist Lara Maree. “Is it for the person who’s cheated to feel better and get a feeling of relief? Or that they feel guilty and regret and wish they hadn’t done it?”
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"I haven't been chea-"
"it's okay, it's okay, I've been cheating on you too"
"....the hell?"
Been 12 years and it's still got me good.
Maree adds that sometimes, it's simply a case of confessing because they don't have much of a choice.
“Potentially there is a pressure, like if they’ve cheated with someone they know and that person is threatening them and being like, ‘If you don’t tell them, I will’. So I see that kind of thing as well," she told Body and Soul. However, there are times a cheater will come clean in a bid to save their relationship.
“Maybe they already know the end is there and it’s a way to go, ‘You know what, actually I’ve done this’, and it kind of ends the relationship,” the expert said.
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About a week after we had broken up I saw her at the bar with some guy who she sheepishly admitted she was on a date with. Later that night I end up standing next to him ordering drinks. He apologized to me for the awkwardness.
"yeah it's just weird since we've only been broken up for a few days and she's already dating."
He pauses
".....a few days? She and I have been seeing each other for like three months now."
We stared at each other for second. And then my ex comes running up to pull him away from me. He shrugged her off and told her to go f herself and then left the bar.
That's how I found out my ex had been cheating on me for 3 months before apparently guilt took hold and she broke up with me.
Update: I bumped into the other guy a few months later at a bar and we actually talked about it. It was weird hearing about it from his perspective. In his mind he had thought she was just really flaky but after speaking to me it just all clicked for him. And we went through some of the times when he couldn't reach her because she was with me and vice versa. Not sure how I didn't pick up on it. Either way I'm happily married now and I think she had to move home and live with her mom.
The Australian survey revealed that 18% of cheaters were caught because someone else told their partner, while 17% said it came out when their other half checked their phone or another device.
5% had their location tracked, and 10% got busted because their partner was suspicious of their behavior. A few (6%) had the misfortune of having their side piece tell their SO and an unlucky 4% were caught in the act.
#13
I put 2 and 2 together and opened her text inbox and surprise! She had been texting him for months and sleeping with him for a few weeks.
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This was in 2000, before everyone had a camera on their phone and you had to get your holiday snaps developed at the Walgreens photo lab.
She brought home the pictures of her vacation to see her "old high school friend" in Vegas, but there was something missing. See, back in the day the rolls of film were made up of exposures of 12, 24, 36 pics, etc. depending on the film you bought.
I went through the photos and it didn't add up. Literally. The 24 exposure roll only had 18 pics. Eventually I found the remaining photos...her and the new boyfriend looking happy.
"We as human beings will inevitably have moments in our life, especially if we’re with people for a long time, where we slip up, here and there, in various different ways," says Maree, adding that it comes down to open, clear and honest communication.
"If we create environments of healthy communication and emotional safety, it can make it a lot easier to work through them,” the expert advises.
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Another time I was doing laundry and a shirt that was not mine was in the pile.
Another time I ran into a mutual friend who said they had just seen my bf and his new gf. Asked if I had met her yet bc she was cool. Found out he had told all his friends we had broke up months prior (we hadn’t).