I learned two interesting things today. First, it turns out there's such a thing as guest stress syndrome. Second, it seems my wife and I both suffer from this syndrome. It's perhaps clearly expressed by her concept of "My house should be spotless" - even when a neighbor drops by for a few minutes - and in my case, "must entertain" panic.
Okay, my wife and I will figure this out - we've dealt with worse problems after all. But for the user u/Cute_Mendokusai, the narrator of our story today, this guest stress syndrome probably manifested itself simply by refusing to give his wife's distant relatives another expense-free vacation. Well, now let's take things in order.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, having a guest at home could cause big stress for the host - especially when these guests are overly entitled and self-invited
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post recently had to host his wife's distant relative who turned out to be a true mooch
Image credits: Cute_Mendokusai
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man literally provided her with an expense-free vacay but didn't receive a single word of gratitude from her
Image credits: Cute_Mendokusai
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, when another guest from that side of the family announced their upcoming visit, the man simply opposed and said, "No way!"
Image credits: Cute_Mendokusai
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author said that the guests can simply rent a car and stay in a hotel
Image credits: Cute_Mendokusai
Now the man is treated poorly by his wife's fam and decided to seek support online
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that he and his wife have been married for about 30 years, during which time they've hosted many family events in their home, and our hero has always enjoyed it. However, recent events have forced the author to reconsider his views on this matter.
It all started when the OP's wife’s cousin literally came over self-invited one day. The original poster had already retired, so his wife and children asked him to meet her and drive her home. The guy had never seen this lady, and his wife had last met her about 2 decades ago, so he had to meet her at the airport, holding a sign like a chauffeur.
Furthermore, this cousin turned out to be a typical mooch, and during her entire visit, the author had to treat her at his own expense every time, without receiving even a single word of thanks in return. Then, the cousin went home and probably told her entire family what a wonderful time she'd had. Now, other relatives are coming to visit the OP’s spouse.
That's when our hero lost it. He said he wasn't going to provide anyone with another expense-free vacation and, taking the dog with him, just went camping. Now the wife's relatives are calling him out for being "disrespectful," and the wife herself is literally torn between the spouse and her fam. The OP simply says they can rent a car and stay in a hotel, and he decided to ask netizens if they agree with him.
Image credits: svetlanasokolova / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, the original poster is not alone in this problem, and uninvited, entitled guests actually show up way more often than the hosts would actually like. Experts assure us that there is nothing wrong with not wanting to host such guests - especially if they themselves are imposing their company.
For example, this dedicated article by Confident Counseling directly claims that being overly polite and accommodating for fear of offending someone is the wrong choice. After all, by doing so, you actually encourage these folks to repeat their actions. "There is nothing wrong with being nice, but you cannot allow some people to mistake 'kindness' for 'weakness,'" the article says.
It's also possible that the author might be a highly sensitive introvert, and in such cases, dealing with self-invited guests can be just unbearable. Among the advice given in this post at Introvert Dear for such cases, is the idea to leave the house when guests arrive. "When I have guests visiting from out of town, I've found that it's sometimes less draining to make plans away from the house," the author of the article wisely states.
Well, people in the comments also sided with the original poster, claiming that he's absolutely right, and that his wife, after many years of marriage, simply needs to give her husband 100% of her support. After all, she might not see these relatives for another 20 years - but the spouse will always be there. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this tale?
Most commenters unanimously sided with the author and urged the guy to stand his ground and not give up
