Gratitude is an exemplary character trait that is unfortunately absent in many people. Not only do these individuals deprive you of a simple “thank you,” but they may also act entitled and even make preposterous demands after you’ve done them a solid favor.
The woman in today’s story saved some money after her friend offered to take care of her dogs for free. As a show of thanks, she asked for “compensation” after the other person’s dog ate one of her cans of high-end dog food.
The friend wondered whether she did something wrong and contemplated giving in to the woman’s demands. Scroll down for the entire text.
The concept of gratitude is absent in many people
Image credits: Cup of Couple
A woman saved money on dog sitting after a friend of hers offered to do it for free
Image credits: mauriciotoro10
However, she showed her thanks by charging the friend for dog food “compensation”
Image credits: dogbiscuitsareforlife
Ungrateful people are likely miserable and may face “chronic unhappiness”
Ungrateful people cannot see and appreciate a gift for what it is, as the woman in the story showed. Chances are, they will be “chronically unhappy,” according to author and academic Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne.
In an article for Psychology Today, Dr. Whitbourne explains that ingrates may suffer an “endless self-fulfilling prophecy” that those around them will continue to fail to live up to their “standards.” In turn, the people who do favors will give up on doing so, and this becomes what Dr. Whitbourne describes as a “vicious cycle” of ingratitude.
Spain-based psychologist Jennifer Delgado Suàrez shares a similar sentiment. In an article for her website Psychology Spot, she pointed to a study by Hope College in Michigan that states gratitude is a predictor of happiness.
Suàrez says ungrateful people are doomed “to a loop of dissatisfaction” because they fail to appreciate life itself as an extraordinary gift.
The University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine characterizes an ingrate as someone with an excessive sense of self-importance, arrogance, vanity, and an “unquenchable need for admiration and approval.” These traits tick the boxes of a narcissistic personality disorder, something that may only be exacerbated by other disorders, according to Suàrez.
According to her, these people may also be prone to depression and anxiety, along with other phobias and addictive behaviors.
“Ungratefulness generates an unhealthy psychological state characterized by cycles of unrealistic expectations and frustrations,” Suàrez wrote, adding that the individual may only fail to appreciate anything positive that has happened to them.
Prioritize protecting your peace when dealing with an ungrateful person
Unfortunately, the author experienced such behavior from someone they consider a friend. It’s a reality they will have to accept, and protecting their inner peace would be the next best move.
Veteran psychologist and writer Dr. Barbara Markway offered tips for dealing with a difficult person, and one of them is to avoid casting judgment. Responding to ungratefulness with empathy never hurts anyone, and it allows you to see things from the other person’s point of view.
“Chances are if a person is acting unreasonably, they are likely feeling some sort of vulnerability or fear,” Dr. Markway explained.
Ungratefulness may stem from a much deeper issue, so Dr. Markway also advises looking for a hidden need. Try asking yourself or the other person what they are trying to gain or avoid.
In some cases, they may provide you with a sensible answer, but for the most part, they will likely ignore you. If the latter happens, Dr. Markway encourages reflecting respect and dignity, no matter how badly you’re being treated.
“Showing contempt will not help productively resolve the situation,” she stated.
It could help the author to try to have a sensible conversation with the woman. Giving into the demands would likely appease the situation, but it won’t necessarily solve the issue.
What do you think? Should the author pay the “compensation”?
Commenters didn't hold back on their opinions about the woman
