You know that one kid who you’ve always heard jokes about who has the bright idea in school to try ingesting white glue paste just for the giggles? It was always assumed that it was a joke and the kid was just a fable used for whatever.
Same goes with the “Do I look fat in this?” situations. It’s all a jokey ruse, right? That never happens, it’s just too cliché to be a thing, isn’t it?
Well, it happened. In a recent conflict between two friends regarding swimsuits and, well, you can guess what happened next.
More Info: Reddit
You'd think that the "does this [article of clothing] makes me look fat" trope was just a joke on the internet, but it seems it does happen in the real world
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
This one netizen experienced it firsthand and went online to share her experience, getting some perspective on the matter along the way
Image credits: Pale-Avocado3959
Even though the woman's response was genuine and she thought her friend looked cute in her one-piece, the friend misinterpreted that as fat-shaming
Image credits: Rachel Claire (not the actual photo)
Reddit user u/Pale-Avocado3959 recently shared a story involving her good friend, a set of swimsuits and an unprovoked assumption over one’s self-image.
The story goes that OP’s friend came over one week during the summer for a visit and the two decided to go to the local pool. You’d think now would be a good time for a very cool prep montage where the two pick out swimsuits and have a good laugh about it. But, nope, it actually went south very quickly.
OP’s friend asked for her opinion about some swimsuits she had—specifically, a one-piece and a bikini. OP didn’t seem to think much about it, and having seen both in action, she opted for the one-piece. And then her friend seemed to turn hostile.
The woman noted that her friend is overweight and had been on antidepressants for a while now. All of this hinted at why her friend might have maybe misinterpreted her preference for a one-piece to think that it was about her looks. This was in light of the friend actually thinking to herself that she looked “too fat in a bikini.”
The friend got visibly upset about it all, and while she did go with the one-piece, she became passive-aggressive from that point on. She later simply vanished, only for OP to later learn from a mutual acquaintance that the friend went to a hotel and rebooked her flight, assuming to an earlier time.
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi (not the actual photo)
OP turned to the Am I The A-Hole community for some perspective on the matter and got a bit of a divided opinion as the seemingly simple issue was actually very complex depending on how you view it.
Those who said that OP is not a jerk pointed out that the friend herself noted her looks in the bikini, and expected the woman to somehow jump in and support her by contradicting, but never got that answer. Folks did think that these issues were the friend’s alone to deal with. It seemed as if the friend wanted a fake answer.
Those thinking that OP was the problem kept coming back to a specific thing she said in her post, and that was “she used to be very slim and skinny like me.” This alone irked a lot of people, coming off as rude and unnecessary at the very least. There was another nuance where OP told her friend to “f off”, which, depending on the relationship, may or may not be a kind thing to say.
But then there were people who were either saying that nobody did anything wrong per se, or, quite the opposite, everyone involved could have been better about their approaches. The reasoning stayed pretty much the same on both sides, and the two women could’ve gone with more appropriate behavior, i.e. not snapping, picking your words, and the like.
The post soon went viral, garnering over 14,000 upvotes (86% upvoted) and getting a Facepalm Reddit award. You can read the entire story in context here.
Image credits: ArtHouse Studio (not the actual photo)
There is one tiny bit regarding self-esteem that a lot of folks seem to forget and that is self esteem is more than capable of impacting a person’s quality of life. And if that goes down, it can mean a slew of different problems.
This can mean anything from negative feelings, fear of trying and judgment to lack of self care, relationship problems and even self-harming behaviors. Low self-esteem might also cause things like depression—something that OP’s friend had. This in turn starts a downward spiral if not tackled on time.
Low self-esteem is often caused by things like having an unhappy childhood, excessive stress in life, poor treatment from partners or carers, ongoing medical problems and mental illness. Often it’ll be a mix of several of these, and the list is not limited to just these ones.
While seeking psychological help and support is one of the best options out there, it will still require a lot of effort on the part of the person seeking help. Talking to yourself positively, stopping comparing yourself to others, appreciating your special qualities, and letting go of hurtful past memories are just a few of many daily things you can do to drastically improve your self-esteem. Other practical approaches include exercise and scheduling positive activities into your calendar as a way to keep up morale.
Better Health Channel provides more detailed information on the topic if it’s something that resonates with you right now. And you can start being positive to yourself right now—by sharing your thoughts and opinions about anything and everything you’ve read here today in the comment section below!
Folks online were all over the place with their judgment, at the very least providing some perspective on it could have went better
