Coping with the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we have to go through as humans. Grief can feel like a punch in the gut some days and like moving through a thick fog on others. Anyone who is grieving deserves space and time to cope with their loss, without being expected to take on new responsibilities or expend energy worrying about non-necessities.
So you can imagine how shocking it was for one young woman, who is coping with the recent loss of her mother, to be suddenly blocked by a “friend” who was asking for money. Below, you’ll find the full story that was recently shared on the Choosing Beggars subreddit, as well as a conversation we were lucky enough to have with the woman who posted this screenshot.
Coping with the loss of a loved one is an extremely overwhelming experience
Image credits: Withthealiens
But this woman's entitled "friend" made it clear she was more concerned about money than her friend's wellbeing
Image credits: Withthealiens
Grieving can make even the simplest tasks feel impossible, so it's important to be gentle with anyone who has recently suffered a loss
Grief can manifest itself in many different ways, but one thing that we should all know is that it’s extremely insensitive to ask for anything from someone who is coping with the recent loss of a loved one. They are likely expending all of the energy they have just trying to get through the day. There might not be anything left to give to others or to spend worrying about things that aren’t pressing concerns, such as a friend’s baby shower. Especially when only a few weeks prior, this woman was assuring her friend that she would “always be there” for her and that she loves her so much, the hypocrisy is blatantly obvious and disappointing.
We were able to get in touch with the woman who shared this post on Reddit in the first place, Withthealiens, and she was kind enough to open up to us about the situation. We first asked if there had been any updates since she had shared this screenshot on Reddit. “I posted it briefly on my story, and a mutual responded and said she had gotten the same message,” Withthealiens told Bored Panda. “But that she hadn’t gotten blocked/unfriended afterwards. I decided to delete it shortly after, because I felt it wouldn’t resolve anything. Other than that, the mutuals I am closest to check on me regularly.”
We were also curious about the nature of this friendship prior to this unfortunate unfriending taking place. “I viewed her as a long time friend,” Withthealiens shared. “We have been friends since freshman year of high school, and though we don’t talk as much, I had let her live with me for a few months last year when she had nowhere else to go. She was supposed to stay for only 2 weeks but ended up staying for over 3 months.”
"It can completely change your reality for the worst"
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)
Withthealiens was also honest about how challenging the past few months have been for her. “Grieving my mom has been the worst I’ve ever felt in my whole life,” she shared with Bored Panda. “The permanence of it and knowing I’ll never see her again is almost too much to handle at times. It completely changes your reality for the worst.”
She also shared that she had been reading some of the kind responses to her post on Reddit. “I read almost all of the comments and felt very supported by most,” she shared. “Especially the people who have also grieved their mom or lost a friend in a similar fashion. It’s nice not to feel alone in that situation,” she added. And even throughout all of this, Withthealiens manages to keep a positive and loving perspective. “I’d like to add that there’s no excuse for what she did to me, but I will forgive her if she ever wants to talk it out. Sometimes, you just gotta give others grace when they’re going through it.”
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
If someone you love is coping with a great loss, remember to give them time and space to heal. Understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is no set timetable for when someone will start to feel better, and healing may include extreme emotions and behaviors. According to HelpGuide, it can be beneficial to offer support through listening, accepting your loved one’s feelings and offering practical assistance. This might mean preparing meals for them, grocery shopping for them, taking them on a walk or to a support group, or helping look after their children and/or pets. And oh yeah, don’t demand that they send you money; show them patience and kindness.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Have you ever had an unfortunate encounter with an entitled friend while you were coping with a loss? And do you have any advice for others who want to support their loved ones? Feel free to share below, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring wise words to help anyone grieving, be sure to visit this story next.
Later, the woman provided some additional information on the situation, and readers began sharing supportive messages
Some even opened up about their own similar experiences
