Why do people like destination weddings so much? When dozens or even hundreds of people come from all over the country, or even from the other ends of the globe, to some beautiful place. When they shell out a ton of money just to spend a couple of days in the company of people they may never see in person again - and a couple dozen photos as a keepsake?
Of course, I'm a tad bit exaggerating now, and destination weddings in a perfect world are a brilliant memory till the end of our days. But sometimes, the state of our family budget literally forces us to choose between friendship or family ties and getting into debt. As it happened, for example, with the user u/HEY_McMuffin, the author of today's story.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has a best friend who plans her destination wedding for the pre-Christmas week
Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author was supposed to be a bridesmaid, but the problem is that it's $3K a person to go
Image credits: HEY_McMuffin
Image credits: Connor Gan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author and her husband had recently remortgaged and did $50K in repairs, so they can't afford such a trip with 2 kids
Image credits: HEY_McMuffin
Image credits: Alex Green / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author told this to her friend and opened up that they planned to attend Comic Con with her husband instead
Image credits: HEY_McMuffin
The bride sent her an angry text, dubbed her selfish, and told her that this would definitely strain their relationship
So, the Original Poster (OP) has a longtime bestie who invited her to her destination wedding as a bridesmaid a long time ago. However, upon learning about the cost of the trip, our heroine was forced to refuse. And it's not about the relationship between women - the reason for everything, as often happens in our lives, is money.
The author and her husband recently remortgaged and did $50K worth of repairs on their house - and the cost of a trip to the wedding, by the most conservative estimates, would be about $3K a person to go. To top it all off, our heroine has two kids, and they would've to take them too, simply because the wedding is scheduled for pre-Christmas week, and they would also have to pay for Santa's visit for the kids later.
Well, the parents really didn't want to leave two children for a whole week. In general, our heroine honestly admitted to her friend that she couldn't afford this trip and thus RSVP'd No. Of course, the bride was upset, so she gave her a whole lecture on smart spending and saving. But she was even more angry when she learned that instead of the wedding, the OP and her husband decided to attend the Comic Con.
As a result, the bride wrote a long and angry text, essentially accusing her friend of neglecting the friendship and being selfish. In her opinion, it was worth "simply" saving up for the wedding instead of spending it on a "mini-vacation" with her husband. And now, as the bride wrote, this will seriously affect their friendship, effectively straining everything. So, the author just decided to enlist the support of netizens.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Let's start with some calculations. So, the author in her post says that her sister's destination wedding was around $1.2K a person to go - and this is significantly less than her (now-former?) bestie's. According to Travel Bash, the average cost for a destination wedding guest nowadays is around $1K, so the bride should probably first find out how much money her friends have before planning everything.
"I think this behavior on the part of the bride borders on selfishness. Firstly, she most likely knew about her best friend's financial situation but didn't think at all about how she would organize this trip," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, who Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "Secondly, attempts to manipulate a friend, guilt-tripping her - is completely inappropriate."
"In the end, if the bride wants to see her friend as a bridesmaid so much - why not help her with funding the trip? In any case, everyone is completely free in where and when they go - and a family trip with the spouse is also really important. No matter how this lady tried to belittle it, her words were definitely influenced by resentment," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also completely sided with the original poster, assuring that emotional blackmail on the part of her friend looks completely rude and impolite. In other words, the bride put her wish above her friend's possibilities, putting her in front of a difficult choice - and then lashing out with criticism.
Overall, the responders simply wished the OP to have a great time at Comic-Con with her spouse. Well, we do hope so as well! By the way, do you, our dear readers, also side with the author? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
However, people in the comments massively supported the author, claiming that this is her friend who looks selfish here
