Perhaps any parent will agree that if they have someone in their life with experience in caring for children, and at the same time showing a clear desire to help, it seems like a real blessing. For example, when grandparents are actively involved in the raising process. Or, let's say, friends.
However, any help has its limits - especially when it is provided almost against the wishes of the parents. The user u/Fair-Bee-4149, the author of our today's story, was faced with a similar situation with her friend - and, let's be honest, the mom was lucky that everything ended well for her and the baby. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a member of a friend group of 5 women who have known each other since childhood
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
All the women except one of them have kids and the only one who hasn't has been working at a day care center for a decade or so
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
This woman, "Emily", tends to actively offer her help in parenting, and sometimes blames the moms for their "mistakes"
Image credits: Anna Shvets (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
Recently Emily even refused to return the author's crying baby to his mom - and gave up only after realizing she couldn't do anything there
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Fair-Bee-4149
The last straw was when Emily literally attempted to "kidnap" the author's baby - and the police got involved to bring the kid back
So, the Original Poster (OP) has a friend group of five women (including the author) who have been friends since school days, when they were all 13 years old. Now, almost two decades later, four out of five women have families and kids. All except “Emily,” almost all of whose relationships, as the author recalls, lasted no more than a couple of weeks.
But “auntie Emily” has always willingly helped her friends in taking care of their children, because she has worked in a day care center for more than ten years and, of course, has vast experience. Moreover, sometimes Emily couldn't resist reprimanding her friends because of what she considered “wrong” parenting. Her friends were tolerant of this, not wanting to offend her. Well, to be honest, Emily’s advice was often quite reasonable.
That all changed recently when the original poster was nursing her baby son during a friendly gathering and Emily took the baby to hold. At some point, the tot began to cry, and the mother realized that he wanted to eat. She told her friend to give her the child - but Emily was not giving up that easily!
Emily, according to the OP, would sometimes tell the elder children something like: “Don’t listen to mom, auntie Emily knows better!” and now she simply didn't give the baby to the author, showing with all her appearance that she would now cope with the problem. But the baby didn't let up, and the mother, seething, still restrained herself so as not to yell at her friend.
And only later, when Emily finally returned the child (he, having received what he wanted, immediately calmed down), the original poster told the friend everything she thought about her behavior. Of all the possible reaction options, Emily chose to take offense and left shortly after.
You think that's the end of it? No! The original poster was tormented by remorse, and decided after some time to meet with Emily and try to explain to her the reason for such an aggressive reaction. So they did, and there was another friend with them. But Emily flatly refused to admit any guilt and, on the contrary, made the OP and the rest of her friends look guilty.
Image credits: Rosemary Ketchum (not the actual photo)
You think that's the end of the tale? Not even close. From here, our story takes on a completely detective twist. After some time, the OP, her kids and husband went to visit mutual friends, and there were a lot of people there, including Emily. At some point, the author and her spouse left the baby in his pram in the care of other friends.
These were people who the OP and her husband trusted completely in terms of caring for the kid, but who were not aware of their changed relationship with Emily. Therefore, when she came up and took the pram, saying that the parents had asked her to take the child for a walk, this didn't arouse any suspicion.
When the parents discovered no Emily or the baby around, the author's husband then called the police. And after some time, the baby was back in his mother's arms, and Emily was sitting in the back seat of a police car, screaming and banging the door window. The police officer said that Emily had told them the same story - that the parents asked her to take a walk with the baby...
Well, now Emily is facing charges of kidnapping, and the original poster seems to have only now begun to realize that she very likely dodged a bullet in relation to her “friend” and her baby. “What I do know is that she won’t be working with kids anymore, which is a relief,” the woman finishes her story.
Image credits: Artur Voznenko (not the actual photo)
“To be honest, when I started reading this story, I thought that the question would simply be how ethical was the mother’s reaction when her friend didn't return her crying baby,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "But further updates showed that the problem seems to be much deeper and more serious. Who knows what would have happened if the police had not arrived in time and returned the baby to the mom?"
“In any case, it seems to me that this woman’s friend has some kind of mental problems associated with the children of her friends. But be that as it may, any help is only good when it's really asked for. And this applies to parenting, probably to the greatest extent," Irina summarizes.
Most commenters on the original post also believe that the author didn't do anything critically offensive towards her now-former friend, and that she, on the contrary, was incredibly tolerant towards Emily's behavior for quite a long time. "You. Don't. Come. Between. A. Mother. And. Her. Child." one of the commenters expressed the people's general belief.
Also, people in the comments suppose that Emily really has some mental complexes over children and motherhood. "She sounds like a very unhappy woman who has been filling a void in her life with other people's children. Obviously some therapy wouldn't be amiss either..." another commenter concluded. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this interpretation of the situation?
People in the comments agreed that the mom's behavior towards Emily was justified, and that her "friend" could actually have some mental problems connected with parenting
