Sharing experiences with company is almost always better than doing it alone. This is especially true if you’re discovering new things in a new place, like on a holiday to an exotic destination.
For one woman, though, her holiday with a friend in Turkey got off to a rough start and only got worse after the friend kept making barbed remarks about everything from her choice of cocktail to her choice of clothing. At her wits’ end, the woman finally snapped.
More info: Mumsnet
A holiday with a friend is supposed to be fun, but this woman’s so-called friend wouldn’t stop insulting her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Friend’s incessant barbs started at the airport and didn’t let up for days, frustrating the woman no end
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her friend wouldn’t have a two-way conversation and drowned her out with endless boring stories about her family
Image credits: Armin Rimoldi / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After one rude comment too many, the lady put her foot down and let the friend have it in no uncertain terms
Image credits: Poolsiders
She concluded that she didn’t think holidays with friends were her cup of tea and swore off spending future holidays with company
OP begins her story by telling the community that she and her friend have been on holiday in Turkey for four days, during which time the friend has had a nasty remark or rude comment for everything. The trouble started at the airport before they even left, with the so-called friend endlessly questioning OP’s choices.
She goes on to say that she’s had to constantly hear about her friend’s family, extended family, and pets, while being shut down whenever she’s wanted to talk about what’s going on in her life. Things went from bad to worse after the friend kept telling OP that people were giving her dirty looks.
Finally, over lunch, the friend told OP that someone at another table looked disgusted when OP ate a piece of tomato with her hands. At that point, she had had enough, and let the friend have it, rocking the relationship.
In an update to her original post, OP said that her oversharing friend had returned to their room as if nothing had happened and offered no apology for her rudeness. Since then, she’s tried to act friendly, but OP has given her the cold shoulder and shared that this nasty experience has put her off her alleged ‘friend’ for life.
OP’s mind seems to be made up, at least with regards to ending her friendship with this woman, so we won’t bother going into ways she might rescue the relationship. Instead, let’s investigate how OP could have handled the friend’s constant insults, and any future insults, for that matter.
In an article for Bright Side, the author writes that, in our society, insults are a way to reduce the value of one person while elevating the value of another. They’re based on the anger that someone feels about their social status and their effort to unleash that on others.
Image credits: Magnus D / Flickr (not the actual photo)
One way of dealing with someone’s insults is to respond by simply saying, “Thank you”. This is likely to catch the insulter off guard and rob them of the chance to insult you further. In other instances, it might prove useful to employ some sarcasm, even if it is the lowest form of wit.
If that fails, bring some humor into the equation. This can help hide the fact that the insult hurt you, disempower the insulter instantly, and bring others on to your side if you’re in a group of people. Alternatively, you could put the pressure back on the person who insulted you by calmly asking them why they made that particular comment.
Another option available to OP would be to change the subject, especially if the insult is highly intrusive or personal. This is usually enough to throw the insulter off your scent. Finally, you can flat-out tell the insulter that they’re being rude and judgmental and force them to explain their behavior, which could help shut them up.
In her article for Time, Angela Haupt writes about how to respond to an insult, according to therapists.
“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us, our nervous system can get activated,” says Kerry McBroome, a psychologist in Brooklyn. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”
That’s why it can be useful to have a comeback ready and waiting.
McBroome’s best comeback is particularly useful when somebody says something prejudiced, bigoted, or offensive. She says she smiles and responds: “Wow, what a wild thing to say out loud.” People will often realize they need to reexamine their bias and consider why something they thought was acceptable to say didn’t go over too well.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Would you ever let someone get away with constantly insulting you? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, one reader questioned both women’s maturity, while another said it was good she stood up for herself and that she should let the friendship slide once the holiday was over
