30 People Share How They Went From Loving To Hating Someone In Seconds

We asked Dr. Claudia Brumbaugh some questions about this topic, and she shared some amazing insights. We asked her if she thinks cutting people out of your life is a good thing: "When people are a negative influence on your life it might make sense for your own well-being to cut people out. For instance, Eisenkraft & Elfenbein (2010) identified 'negative affective presence' in some people. They found that certain other people accounted for 23% of the variance of one's own negative emotions.

And one's own trait affect accounted for 19% of the variance in one's own negative emotions, which means that others are just as responsible for your negative emotions as you are. This shows some people have a negative presence that affects one's own emotions in a negative way. If you keep these people in your life, they will have an ongoing negative impact on your emotional state."

We also wondered why people pretend to be someone else in the first place: "Because everyone basically knows what is attractive. For hetero women that is easier to know since men have more consensus in what they are looking for in a female partner (e.g., femininity, curvaceousness, seductive qualities). Women are much more variable in what they are looking for.

Also, stereotypes are partially true. Evolutionary theory provides explanations and cross-cultural data showing that men care more about beauty and youth, and women care more about status and earning power. To 'pretend,' women could do something like wear makeup to look more flawless/youthful, and men could pretend by renting a luxury car for a day.

And finally, narcissists are charming and attractive on first impression. They're not really 'pretending' though, that's just how they come off at first. Later, upon getting to know them better, their arrogance and manipulative nature often damage the relationship beyond repair."

Doctor Claudia Brumbaugh shared if there are any telltale signs to show someone's faking: "There are many ways to be 'fake,' so that's a tough question. People are pretty good at reading others' personalities though, even within a couple of minutes. Evolutionary theorists say we have a 'cheater detection mechanism.'"

And lastly, we wondered if it's easy to go from loving someone to absolutely hating them: "True love/attachment would be unlikely to turn to loathing quickly. Love develops over time and fosters commitment and pair-bonding. However, lust could turn to loathing since perhaps one didn't have enough time to really get to know who the person was during those early lustful days/weeks."