Deciding how you’re laid to rest is a deeply personal decision and, these days, there are all kinds of options available to you. From traditional ceremonies (think coffin and tombstone) to more exotic alternatives, it’s crucial your final wishes are respected.
One guy, who’s been diagnosed with terminal cancer, turned to an online community to vent after his family tried to get in the way of his end-of-life arrangements. They’re insisting on a full-on Catholic ceremony, but he wants none of it.
With graveyards running out of space all over the world, there’s a growing trend towards alternative burial practices
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One guy, who’s fighting terminal cancer, has never wanted a traditional burial, and plans on returning his body to nature when the times comes
Image credits: kues1 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His family, on the other hand, are insisting he have a full-blown Catholic ceremony, something he doesn’t want or even identify with
Image credits: azerbaijan_stockers / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After being endlessly harassed, he cut all contact with them and made it very clear in his will that his final wishes be followed to a tee
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After his siblings told him he would be denying his parents the right to mourn properly, he turned to netizens to ask if not having a normal funeral is a jerk move
At just 29, the original poster (OP) is staring down a brutal diagnosis. After 14 months fighting multiple myeloma, doctors warned him he likely only had months left and offered him palliative care. Instead of clinging to rituals he doesn’t observe anyway, he focused on peace, asking for after-life planning and imagining a quiet return to nature.
Spiritual but not religious, OP doesn’t want a coffin, headstone, or Catholic funeral. His wish is simple: to be buried directly in the earth, no barriers, no markers, just left to dissolve into the soils of the forest. Estranged from his family for years, he built a stable life alone in Canada, supported by unions, with housing, and daily hospice care sorted.
When his parents finally visited, though, his fragile calm was instantly shattered. When they asked him about a funeral, he said there wouldn’t be one. Arguments followed, hospice staff intervened, and his parents were escorted out. Siblings accused him of cruelty, insisting he was denying his parents the right to mourn, leaving OP racked with guilt.
Then came a twist no one expected. Days after posting, his hematologist offered a newly approved medication. OP left palliative care, returned to treatment, and slowly felt stronger. Blood counts improved, he walked a mile without gasping for air, and early scans looked promising, offering hope after months of steady decline.
Sadly, family conflict escalated. Relatives tried tracking him down, pressuring doctors and unions, triggering police reports and legal action. Through it all, OP finalized his wishes: a simple cotton shroud, forested land, and no ceremony guests beyond those he trusts. Whether remission comes or not, his ending remains firmly his choice.
Image credits: ArthurHidden / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be honest, OP’s family aren’t actually entitled to go against his final wishes. The fact that they’re trying to railroad him into a ceremony he doesn’t want, or even identify with, shows a lack of respect that’s hard to ignore. Fortunately, it sounds like he’s got the right people in his corner, but what’s the deal with alternative end-of-life arrangements anyway? We went digging (no pun intended) for answers.
According to National Geographic, traditional burial and cremation pollute the planet. In 2022, Archbishop Desmond Tutu chose to be cremated not by flame, but by water, in a process called aquamation. In 2019, actor Luke Perry was buried in a “mushroom suit” made of cotton and seeded with mushroom spores.
Green burials have been used as long as we’ve been burying bodies. Both Native American and Jewish communities traditionally use them, but in recent generations, they’ve fallen out of fashion as folks opted for more elaborate burials. Fortunately for OP, they’re making a comeback.
Before you rush off and rewrite your will, though, it’s worth knowing the pros and cons. The experts over at French Funerals say that green burials minimize harmful impact on the environment and are more eco-friendly than cremation.
As far as drawbacks go, green funerals require the timely burial of the body. There’s also the fact that some cemeteries don’t allow green burials, and some burial sites don’t permit grave markers. None of this sounds like a problem for OP, thankfully.
So, it seems that OP’s family won’t get what they want, especially now that he’s got all the legal stuff sorted out. Here’s hoping he goes into remission though. What’s your take? Should his family have the last word, or is he entitled to go out on his own terms? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers celebrated the guy’s choice and slammed his family for trying to force him into the “right” way to be buried
