The fact that nothing is easy in life seems like the worst scam in existence. You’re craving the power that comes with adulthood, and you’re hungry for it to finally be yours! And once it’s there, it feels like you’ve won the lottery but you’re meant to be giving away all your funds to random research bits conducted by squirrels. You’re confused and frustrated—welcome to adulthood!
The two things that make adult life a little bit more interesting are matrimony and alcoholic cocktails. The Instagram page “Marriage And Martinis,” run by Adam and Danielle Silverstein, has become the home of some of the most relatable content and memes, dealing with topics ranging from spousal complaints to sleep deprivation.
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“In many ways we really are just an average married couple, but in some ways we are definitely not your typical couple, and we’ve really not tried to be,” Adam and Danielle state on their website. “Laughing at ourselves and the ridiculous expectations placed on us by society as parents and spouses makes this journey so much more enjoyable.”
“I think Adam and I are very in touch with the fact that if we take it all too seriously, we’ll lose so many opportunities for fun, hilarity, and bonding,” Danielle continues. “Marriage and parenting are seriously hard work. But it’s all filled with mistakes and fails that we can either hide in humiliation, or, if we choose, we can share them and know that we’re not alone.”
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Many agree with the fact that laughter bonds people, and as stated by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, it can also act as a vitamin for your marriage, as long as you take it daily with food. Don’t choke though!
Mary Shull, a licensed professional counselor, states that learning to laugh at yourself, as well as how to laugh with others, lightens the load on a relationship weighed down by disagreements. “Life isn’t easy. Sometimes having a good, hearty laugh often lifts the weight of the world,” she says.
However, the type of humor used, as well as the timing of said jokes, is incredibly important to consider. Mary explains that sarcasm is actually hostility masquerading as humor. It can be used as a defense mechanism for an uncomfortable situation and a means to deflect feelings, which then leads to miscommunication and a growing wedge between the partners.
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Honestly is the best policy, and laughing at your difficulties together also comes with solving issues together. Regardless of how healthy and happy your relationship is, you and your friend or partner are not the same, which will eventually lead to arguments and disagreements. One of the most common tools to wade through these storms is compromise.
Compromising with your loved one doesn’t mean you completely agree with their views or opinions. According to Davina Adcock, it’s healthy to maintain your personal values, beliefs, opinions, and preferences while still meeting halfway. Yet, one must always remember that the sacrifice should be mutual, not one-sided.
One-sided compromise is common in unhealthy relationships where one person does most of the heavy lifting. Over time, this person can be or feel taken advantage of and grow tired, frustrated, or resentful. Furthermore, compromising rarely works when intentions are negative; one should always want the best for one another in a relationship.
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In a healthy relationship, both people ensure they make it easy, safe, and comfortable for the other person to share hard truths with them. Each person should feel able to communicate when a compromise is especially difficult or downright impossible and, as Davina states, compromise isn’t easy nor is it something we’re born knowing to do well.
The best we can do is to try our best and be patient with one another. Adulthood isn’t just about cooking, paying bills, managing finances, and keeping up with laundry. As Murray Bowen observed, adults are able to distinguish between feelings and intellectual processes and actually have the ability to choose between acting upon one or the other.
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As Adam and Danielle Silverstein state, “people will judge no matter what, so you really have to do what is best for you and your spouse, cause in the end, it boils down to the two of you and your connection. No one else can make that happen.”
So, dear readers, continue laughing together with your loved ones, finding joy in the silliness of everyday life. That’s the best we can do to ensure our continuing happiness and feelings of fulfillment. As you continue scrolling through this list, make sure you upvote your favorites, and I shall see you in the next one!
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