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Bored Panda reached out to the creator behind the Childfree Humor Facebook page who said that she comes from a conservative, Asian family where girls were trained to be good wives and mothers. “Getting married as soon as possible and having children immediately after was pretty much the only option you had once you grew up,” the creator said and added that “This was suffocating for me, I knew from a very young age that that life was not for me, but I was surrounded by people who had those expectations of me.”
“This page, which I started in 2013, was a way to escape that and have a voice of my own. It was cathartic, still is. Knowing there are so many other people out there that are just like me, it made me realize I wasn't a freak or abnormal, and it was okay to not want children.”
The creator of Childfree Humor said that there is “a fairly large stigma” when it comes to childlessness in our society. “People think you're immature, selfish, or stupid for choosing to be childfree; usually all three,” she told us.
Moreover, apart from the social stigma, pressure from family members to reconsider this choice makes it all the more difficult, the creator of Childfree Humor said. “It's usually finding similar-minded people who you can connect with that's the biggest challenge. I don't really know any childfree people in real life but thanks to the internet, there are communities and groups you can be part of that make you feel less lonely.”
Most of Childfree Humor's followers are women, the creator said, “which isn't surprising because I am a woman too and most of what I post is the humor that helps you cope with the expectations that society places on women.”
“What surprised me was that my audience was global. I have followers not just from North America but also from Asia, Africa, etc. It tells you that the women from all over the world, irrespective of the culture they are from, face the same kind of pressure and stigma that comes from choosing to not procreate,” the creator concluded.
Many childfree people hear that one annoying question way more often than they should. “When are you having a baby?” is the kind of question many people would do anything not to hear ever again. Previously Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches people how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again.
Petang said that it can indeed be super annoying when others (family or not!) continually ask when you’re going to have kids, get married, or something else that they think you should be doing. Referring to these questions, Petang said that “no, it’s none of their business.”
“Let me ask you this: Why are they asking in the first place? Is it because they know you want kids, and are concerned about your happiness? Is it because they’re just nosy? Is it because they don’t have the social skills to know that it’s an inappropriate question?”
Susan argues that “trying to understand WHY someone is doing something annoying doesn’t justify their behavior, but putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for a moment helps YOU be less annoyed.” She added: “you can even think to yourself, ‘Wow, it’s really sad that they don’t understand how annoying that question is.’”
However, we need to remember that other people are going to do what they are going to do. This applies to all kind of things people talk about, whether it’s asking you “when are you having a baby?” or a whole other unrelated thing.
“We have no control over their behavior. You’re right, your Nosy Aunt Rosie shouldn’t be asking you these questions – but she just did,” the life coach said. However, Petang argues that “our expectations of others aren’t going to change the weather on Jupiter, so don’t get all bristly when people ask stupid or nosy questions – we can’t control them, but we can control ourselves and our responses.”
