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It’s important to understand that social anxiety is more than being shy. Although many people occasionally feel anxious in social situations, those with social anxiety have the fear interfering in their daily lives.
NHS.uk states that you may have social anxiety if you have any of these symptoms: worry about everyday activities, such as meeting strangers, starting conversations, speaking on the phone, working or shopping; avoid or worry a lot about social activities, such as group conversations, eating with company and parties; always worry about doing something you think is embarrassing, such as blushing, sweating or appearing incompetent; find it difficult to do things when others are watching—you may feel like you're being watched and judged all the time; fear being criticized, avoid eye contact or have low self-esteem; often have symptoms like feeling sick, sweating, trembling or a pounding heartbeat (palpitations); have panic attacks, where you have an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety, usually only for a few minutes.
Social anxiety may be especially daunting when things go against the plan and this, as we all know, happens much more often than we’d like. It’s really hard to keep yourself in control for those who don’t have it, but for people with social anxiety it may seem like mission impossible.
The good news is that there are some cognitive emotional skills that anyone can learn to get through those stressful situations better. Improving such skills has to be made a priority by those with social anxiety, and many other mental health issues like depression, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, etc.
Bored Panda reached out to Alice Boyes, a former clinical psychologist turned writer and the author of “The Healthy Mind Toolkit” and “The Anxiety Toolkit” to find out more about controlling our frustration when things go against the plan. Alice said that in practical terms, “the more buffer you have in your life, the easier it is to handle stress. Therefore practical solutions like creating an emergency fund can help.”
Having said that, she suggests that if your life isn’t overscheduled and you have more flexibility, then it’s best “to give yourself time and nurturing to recover from knocks. ”Psychologically, it’s always best to remind yourself to take stressful situations one step at a time. “Like, if your car breaks down on the highway, all you need to do first is get out of traffic. Don't get ahead of yourself mentally,” Alice explained.
Another way to handle stress is giving yourself some sources of pleasure, like exercise, or podcasts you like. “Things you look forward to, that you can still do even when you're experiencing stress,” the former psychologist explained. In the end, it’s always helpful to remind yourself that stressful events happen to everyone. “They're part of life, but we don't necessarily know what's going on behind the scenes for other people,” Alice concluded.
