When two people really love each other, they might do whatever it takes to stay together and solve any problems that could affect their relationship. Unfortunately, even such well-meaning intentions can take a turn if it means one partner isn’t allowed to follow their dreams.
This is what a woman faced when her boyfriend of eight years expected her to give up her place at Juilliard in order to stay with him. The man even went so far as to propose to her to keep her from leaving, but he only ended up with a broken heart.
More info: Reddit
Every person should want to see their loved ones progress and grow, even if it means a few compromises would have to be made
Image credits: lookstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that he had been dating his girlfriend for 8 years and that she suddenly got into Juilliard, which meant that she’d have to move to New York
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The girlfriend asked him to go with her, but he didn’t want to move away from his family or job, so he decided to propose to get her to stay
Image credits: Ahmet Kurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the man’s plan backfired, and his girlfriend said no, which led to their relationship ending and him being heartbroken
Image credits: Puzzleheaded_Cod1320
He also shared an update almost a year and a half later about how his ex had moved on, but he couldn’t seem to get over the heartbreak
It definitely seems like the poster truly loved his girlfriend and cherished the eight years they had spent together, because when he realized she wanted to go to Juillard, he hoped she wouldn’t get in. Unfortunately for him, she got accepted into the school and was set to leave for New York in three weeks.
It might seem selfish for the boyfriend to hope his partner never moves away or follows her dreams, but experts state that it could actually be because of insecurity. Very often, a person’s own fears and anxieties about their relationship and self-worth come into play when their loved one is moving ahead, and it can lead to conflicts like this.
The woman might have sensed the OP’s reluctance to let her go, so she suggested that he move with her to New York and find a job there. The problem is that he didn’t want to give up his entire life and follow her, but he expected her to push her dreams aside so that he could be happy, which is why he proposed.
According to studies, the issue with rash proposals like this is that they’re often a last-ditch effort to save the relationship and don’t tend to come at the right time. They don’t always work out and might expose the miscommunication happening between both partners, which, in many cases, can even lead to a breakup.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP’s effort to prevent his girlfriend from moving fell flat once she rejected his proposal, and so they decided to end their relationship. He didn’t deal with the situation well and found it very tough to go through such heartbreak, plus his brief stints with dating didn’t seem to go smoothly either.
That’s why many mental health professionals state that people need to find an outlet for their emotions if they are going through a breakup. Whether it means they reach out to their friends or loved ones for support or seek professional support, it will help them deal with their overwhelming emotions rather than keeping things bottled up.
The poster clearly hadn’t done any of that, which is why he was still feeling hurt a year and a half after his relationship had ended. He also came across a picture of his ex with her new boyfriend, which made him feel bad since he still had the proposal ring that he had been going to give her.
It’s not easy to see someone you love move on or leave you behind, but these moments are often necessary for learning and growth to happen. Hopefully, the man is able to deal with his painful feelings and learns that progress is actually a healthy part of all relationships.
What are your thoughts on this story, and what advice do you have for the heartbroken man? Do share your opinions down below.
Most people gave the poster a reality check and felt that he was selfish for standing in the way of his ex-girlfriend's dreams
