Everyone who has ever worked in a corporate environment knows that there are some unspoken rules about how to behave and get along with people. Unfortunately, some of them might be too stringent and may make people feel alienated from their coworkers.
This is what a woman felt after she gave her colleague a thoughtful gift. She put a lot of effort into it, and another coworker pointed out that the male colleague’s wife might not like him getting such a gift. This really bothered the woman, and she asked the Internet for advice.
More info: Mumsnet
Nobody wants their actions to be misunderstood, especially when they are doing something out of the goodness of their heart
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her 50-year-old male colleague had recently published something big, which he had been working on for a couple of years
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In order to celebrate the man’s achievement, she decided to grow a cutting of a rare plant of hers that he had admired, and give it to him as a gift
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman put a lot of effort into growing the plant, took help from her husband, and put it in a £20 ceramic pot, all of which the man really appreciated
Later, though, a coworker joked about how the man’s wife may not like the gift, as it was too personal and the only one he had been given by a team member
The poster’s intention behind propagating a plant for her colleague was purely innocent. She merely wanted to do something thoughtful and celebrate his amazing achievement. It did take a lot of effort to grow the rare plant from the cutting, and although she didn’t spend a lot of money on it, she did put in a ton of time.
Usually, in workplaces, the rule of thumb is to avoid giving personal gifts. This is to avoid people feeling uncomfortable if the item is too intimate. That’s why most folks choose general options and try to keep the atmosphere professional even when exchanging presents with each other.
To understand this better, Bored Panda reached out to Peter Ďuriš, the CEO and co-founder of Kickresume. He explained that “in the story, the woman who gave her colleague a rare plant has a talent for propagating them. If the man also enjoys gardening, then it’s especially kind of her to share her plant with him.”
“I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for people to give their coworkers thoughtful gifts, especially when a colleague has also become a friend. But if you and your colleague aren’t close, they might feel surprised or even a little uncomfortable receiving a very personal gift that took a lot of time or thought.”
“It’s also worth considering team dynamics. It all depends on what your organization and your relationship with your colleague are like. In small companies where everyone works together closely, it might be considered more typical to exchange gifts, regardless of seniority levels,” he added.
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster didn’t realize that her gift would turn out to be controversial. It’s only when she spoke to her colleagues that one of them commented on how the man’s wife would feel about the personalized present. This made the OP feel embarrassed and concerned about her actions.
Peter explained that “there are a few reasons why giving a shared present from the whole team or from a small group can be a great option for a colleague’s birthday or leaving gift. It reduces any potential awkwardness and often means you can pool your money to get something really nice. However, just make sure that nobody feels pressured into contributing towards the present!”
“There are a few things that you probably shouldn’t give your colleagues as gifts. Things like perfume, jewellery, and clothing are all a bit personal and could come across as romantic. In general, something themed around their interests and not too expensive is usually a good pick: food and drink are always popular presents for coworkers,” he explained.
The woman probably never thought of her thoughtful gift being interpreted in a different context; she just thought of it as a celebratory thing. Usually, when it comes to workplaces, there is often a right time and place to give presents. Peter says that “in general, the best times to give your colleagues gifts are special occasions.”
“You might find it simplest to just give presents if your office is doing a Secret Santa. This is a fun way to bring everyone together. It’s also an ideal time to be really thoughtful and get something you think they’ll love, within the agreed price range. In some workplaces, coworkers who are close might give each other something on their birthdays,” he added.
Nobody wants their kind actions to be misinterpreted like this, and hopefully, the woman later decided to block out her coworker’s speculations. I’m sure her other colleagues would love such cute plant gifts. Wouldn’t you?
Let us know your thoughts on this situation and whether you’ve ever gifted a coworker something so personal.
People agreed that the woman’s lovely plant present was very nice and that she hadn’t overstepped any boundaries
