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According to the founder of the Instagram page, Eric, healthy masculinity essentially boils down to health and purpose. “A man that has learned to understand and express his emotions without being controlled by them is on his way to real mental health. Understanding your feelings does not make men feminine, it makes them stoic and adaptable,” he explained to Bored Panda via email.
“The ability to communicate and be corrected without taking offense is essential to growth.” Not only that but men with a healthy understanding of masculinity understand their roles.
“Whether that's at home, at work, or with hobbies, knowing his ‘why’ gives every activity meaning and value. A man working with his ‘why’ is unstoppable.”
Bored Panda was interested in what advice Eric would give parents who begin recognizing the fact that their sons may be treating women poorly. According to the digital creator, it’s vital to recognize where that sort of behavior stems from.
“The ‘boys will be boys’ comment allows boys to get away with things from a young age and they usually learn it from a male they spend time around. It can come from a dad, an uncle, or a celebrity and is more often than not a learned behavior,” he shared.
Eric opened up to us about his own past as well. “I was raised on early 2000's hip hop with the likes of Lil Jon and the Ying Yang Twins, and besides ‘Dear Mama’ by Tupac, most songs were disrespecting women,” he said this is why it’s important for parents to monitor what their kids watch and listen to because “you are what you consume.”
“Be proactive in teaching and correcting the behaviors. This comes down to the man and the woman in the house. A hood mama should NEVER be disrespected and both mom and dad should enforce that. My wife checks me when I'm not acting right. I check my kids when they are rude to their mother. It's on everyone to build up dust-free men.”
Eric first got his start as a digital creator a few years ago, mostly focusing on making jokes about his life as a dad. Eventually, he found a niche that mattered to him the most, so he wanted to focus all of his efforts on “being the best husband and father I could be and trying to spread the message that we can all be better.”
“Having an incredible wife and amazing daughters sparked the fire, and trying to make the world a better place for them keeps it burning bright. I owe my joy in this life to my wise, beautiful, strong, passionate, and hard-working wife,” Eric told Bored Panda.
“I was born and raised by a strong single mother who did everything she could to make my life great, and it has been. However, she couldn't be my dad. I never met mine but I knew that I would never let that hold me back from being what he never was: a great husband and daddy. So one of my mottos has become: be better. So let's be better men.”
During an earlier interview, psychotherapist Silva Neves explained to Bored Panda that toxic masculinity, at its core, is a general attitude and distorted ideas, “perpetuated by systemic misogyny.”
According to the mental health expert, toxic men very often have negative views toward women’s rights.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite of these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn't afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women,” the psychotherapist explained.
He added that men who embrace healthy masculinity are more tolerant and feel comfortable when someone challenges their opinions.
Digital creator and writer @girldad_e is all about setting a positive example for his daughters, being a good husband, and showing the world what healthy masculinity actually looks like. And it seems to be working. Eric has 184k followers on Instagram who eagerly wait for his freshest videos about being a strong, kind, and empathetic man who is in tune with his emotions.
According to the dad, far too many men are raised “thinking they gotta be hard, tough, feel nothing.” He writes in one of his Instagram posts that it’s important to acknowledge and express emotions: “How can we expect to understand anyone if we feel nothing? Stop lying and start crying my guy, real strength comes from knowing your limits, addressing them, and moving forward with love.”
Girl dad Eric is the founder of the dusty son movement, which emphasizes the importance of raising guys to be more respectful and considerate. He popularized the term after starting to film videos about it. In essence, it’s all about steering clear of toxic masculine traits that lead to ‘dusty sons’ and instead offering men a valid alternative—healthy masculine values centered around high emotional intelligence.
The term ‘dusty sons’ became so popular that it even inspired teacher and mother of two, Payal Desai, on TikTok. The digital creator teaches her son all about how to be a good, capable human being who steers clear of toxic masculine values.
The idea of raising kids so they don’t become ‘dusty sons’ has gained lots of traction elsewhere on the video-sharing platform recently, as well.
At its core, toxic masculinity is a collection of mentally and emotionally unhealthy values that have become normalized in some societies. Broadly speaking, men are expected to keep a tight lid on their emotions for fear of seeming weak or vulnerable. So crying or opening up about one’s feelings would be something that toxic men stigmatize while healthy, adjusted guys would embrace.
Guys are also expected to constantly compete with each other, dominate their social circles, and win at all costs. Not only that, there’s a certain assumption that men ‘should’ act aggressively and be inclined toward violence and risks. This is a very narrow definition of masculinity as a whole, as it leaves no space for genuine vulnerability and validating one's emotions.
