The problem of difficult relationships between parents and children - especially teen kids - is as old as the world, and no social evolution of our society can actually change anything here. Decades will pass, we will fly to Mars and Jupiter, we'll be probably able to teleport ... and parents, like in the old days, will have numerous spats with their offspring.
The story we'll tell you today, from the user u/EmberLavishing, actually leaves mixed feelings. On the one hand, you can perfectly understand the author, who for many years was forced to have not just a bestie - but a sister. On the other hand, the circumstances under which this story happened make you look at everything from a different angle. Well, let's look together.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is 16 years old, she has two younger siblings and a stepsister of nearly the same age
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
About a decade ago the author's parents divorced and then her dad remarried a lady with a daughter
Image credits: EmberLavishing
Image credits: Михаил Крамор / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Since then, the spouses had been actively imposing her daughter as a true sis for the 3 kids - but to no avail
Image credits: EmberLavishing
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Three years ago the stepmom got diagnosed with cancer and the medical bills has sucked them both dry
Image credits: EmberLavishing
The man expected his stepdaughter to join his ex and their kids on family vacay - but all 3 kids said a flat-out "No"
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 16 years old, she has two younger siblings and a stepsister a year younger than her. Around a decade ago, her parents divorced, and then her father remarried. Literally from the first days under one roof, dad and his new wife tried to build a new family from two parts, but they definitely didn't succeed.
Neither our heroine nor her siblings considered their stepsister a real sis, and despite the fact that they were not hostile to each other, no special bonds actually developed between them over the years. The original poster simply felt that a new relative was being imposed on her, and she resisted these attempts in every possible way.
Three years ago, the author's stepmother was diagnosed with cancer, and the subsequent treatment, in the OP's own words, has sucked them dry. Recently, our heroine's dad found out that his ex (with whom, by the way, they parted as friends) was planning a vacation with her kids, he asked if his stepdaughter could join them. Mom asked the children what they thought about it - and again, as before, everyone said "No."
Previously, it was the author's bio mom who took all the hits for their refusals - but this time, our heroine herself told her dad that they don’t want to have this girl along, and admitted that all his bio kids had voted against her before. Well, this was a low blow to the man. He told his daughter that he was ashamed of her, and that he expected her to be compassionate towards the family. And now the OP has two minds regarding her actions.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"It's a difficult situation, to be honest. On the one hand, it's true that attempts to impose friends or relatives on other people rarely end in success - so you can understand the instinctive feeling of protest on the part of children," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case. "On the other hand, that woman has cancer, and this outweighs any other arguments."
"Youth is usually characterized by categorical judgments - so it was hardly to be expected that this girl or her siblings would vote differently. However, her father probably expected a more ‘mature’ decision from her this time. And he was very upset when his expectations were not only not met, but the reality turned out to be even worse."
"In any case, the children have spoken here - but it seems to me that it would be justified to actually make an exception at least for this particular situation. After all, a terminal illness of a woman who has lived with them for years is a sufficient motive, in my opinion. Or at least out of love and respect for her father," Maria concludes.
The netizens' opinions on this story are very divided. While fully aware that one cannot force someone to be besties simply by their own will, commenters nevertheless cannot help but note that the author's dad really expected her to do a nice thing for him and his wife. And he was cruelly deceived in his expectations. So what is your point of view on this story? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
People in the comments agreed that forcing a family bond is a huge red flag, but thought that the author could do a favor to her dad this time
