An old classical fairy tale plot, familiar to many of us from early childhood, tells how an evil stepmother plots various intrigues against the main characters, up to and including threats to life and health. But we hardly ever thought that the opposite extreme is also fraught with problems. For example, when the stepmom is overly friendly.
Here is a story from the user u/StringRoutine7346, who lost his mom at the age of five, and since then his whole life has been spent under the same roof with his stepmother. A decent woman, in fact, who, however, turned out to have an obsession - to make her stepson her 'real' son.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a 16YO whose parents weren't married so he goes by his mom's last name
Image credits: Vika Glitter / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author lost his mom when he was 5, so he was raised by his dad and his new wife
Image credits: StringRoutine7346
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The stepmom has always tried to be a decent parent for the kid, sometimes even overdoing it
Image credits: StringRoutine7346
Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman's greatest wish was to change the stepson's first and last name - since his middle one coincides with her own dad's first name
Image credits: StringRoutine7346
So recently the woman returned to this idea, but the teen refused once more, claiming that he won't accept her as his mom
The Original Poster (OP) says that he is now 16 years old, and his parents were never married, so he goes by his mom's last name. However, when the boy was five, his mother, alas, passed away, and he had to move in with dad and his new wife.
No, the stepmother, as we have already said, always treated the author quite well, as if he were her own son. Even too much, perhaps - even when they had three daughters, the woman sometimes invited a babysitter for them to spend time with the stepson.
But our hero always remained devoted to the memory of his late mom, and invariably rejected all his stepmother's attempts to get closer to him, even though this always upset her. She preferred to call the OP by his middle name (James), because it was her dad's first name - and from time to time tried to convince the boy to officially change his first and last names. But to no avail...
For example, when the author was 8 or 9, they even tried to formalize the change of his first and last name for him through the court. However, they didn't take into account that in this case, the consent of the child himself is needed - and the original poster, when the judge demanded his presence in court, naturally didn't give this consent.
The woman made her last attempt quite recently, saying that if the stepson did change his first and last names right now, it would be a wonderful gift for her for Christmas or her birthday. And he would finally become "mom's boy..." But our hero once again resolutely stated that her wish was not an incentive for him at all - and that he would never accept her as his mother.
She, of course, was incredibly upset, burst into tears and called the original poster "spoiled and bratty" - but the teen stayed unshakably sure that he was right in this argument. And he decided to ask netizens for advice and support as well.
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Well, the situation is really difficult - after all, we know how complicated the relationship between teenagers and stepparents can be. After all, here the desire of an adult to build their own new family and the memory of a teen, multiplied by all the aspects of adolescence, collide.
"On the one hand, this woman really tried to become a real and decent mother for her stepson. On the other hand, she definitely overdid it in her desire," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case.
"Obviously, for a teenager, the memory of his late mother is something akin to a shrine, and this is something that is incredibly important to him. Therefore, trying to deprive him of this memory, to break his family ties - looks, to put it mildly, very unpedagogical. And absolutely unreasonable too."
"In the end, parenting is more about the ability to do good for your children, without demanding anything in return, without expecting gratitude and applause. And if this woman really wanted her stepson to be happy, she wouldn't have tried to change him to the detriment of his essence," Irina concludes.
People in the comments also clearly took the author's side, claiming that his stepmom was more trying to satisfy her own desires than to be a good stepparent. "Given the history you have with her and the tension stemming from your mom's passing, it's understandable why you'd be resistant to her wanting to label you as her 'boy'," one of the responders wrote rather reasonably.
Some commenters even urge the author to go further and abandon his middle name, associated with his stepmom's father. "If you want to be extra petty, when you turn 18, change your middle name to something different. Drop James completely," another person added sarcastically. But this, in our opinion, would be too much... So what do you, our dear readers, think?
Most people in the comments sided with the teen, even sarcastically urging him to skip his middle name as well
