Dating can be like a walk through joyland if you find your person, and if you have found the Olive to your Popeye, just know that the Goddess of Luck is smiling down on you! For not everyone is fortunate enough to find a good partner. Some might even get stuck with the wrong person.
And so is the case with Reddit user Last_Invite155, whose girlfriend physically mistreated him on more than one occasion. He was so terrified of her that he told her that if she ever touched him in anger, he would end things.
More info: Reddit
The poster of this story was returning from a road trip with his girlfriend, sitting in the back seat of the car while her friend was driving
Image credits: katemangostar (not the actual photo)
He'd had small fights with her and the mood was tense between them, so when he asked her a question and he replied "ok" after her answer, things went south
Image credits: u/Last_Invite155
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
She felt that his reply was passive-aggressive and he was dismissing her, so she started whisper-fighting with him, while he froze and didn't say anything
Image credits: u/Last_Invite155
Image credits: wirestock (not the actual photo)
He felt that he would worsen the situation if he did or said anything, so he just kept quiet and stared straight ahead
Image credits: u/Last_Invite155
But she aggressively grabbed his face and snarled at him and he told us that it was not the first time where she had acted violently with him
In today’s tragic story, we dive into the fears and struggles of the original poster (OP). He tells us that he was returning from a road trip with his girlfriend and friends. Her friend was driving them to the train station while they were in the back seat and as they'd had fights during the trip, the vibe was not so pleasant between them.
To make up for it, he wanted to treat her to food at the station so he asked her whether they could grab a bite before getting on the train. When she said that they couldn’t, he just replied with a plain, old “okay”. But, folks, that one word just escalated things as she felt he was being passive-aggressive and just dismissing her.
She started whisper-fighting with him and he just froze. He informed us that whenever she went nuclear like this, anything he did or said just worsened things. And in order to avoid that, our poster chose not to react and stared straight ahead. Well, Little-Miss-Angry had a problem even with that.
She grabbed his face and snarled in his face, “Look at me when I'm talking to you.” Sounds terrifying, right? Imagine being in OP’s shoes! He went on to tell us that this wasn’t the first time that this had taken place. She had also aggressively grabbed his arm in the past. He gave her an ultimatum that if she ever touched him in anger again, he would end things.
When he vented on Reddit, people were simply outraged by her behavior. Their first verdict was that she was a giant red flag who was not just physically mistreating him but emotionally and verbally as well. People also pointed out that just because he was a guy did not mean that she could do that to him.
Image credits: Garvin St. Villier (not the actual photo)
Research states, “Victims of physical cruelty may also experience stress, PTSD, and eating disorders, among other symptoms. Physical violence may disrupt sleep patterns and has been linked with insomnia. In addition, there is a high risk of engaging in substance use following repeated physical violence from a partner.”
After understanding the psychology behind things, we know why Redditors were so concerned about the poster. Some people also claimed that if it had happened twice, it would definitely happen again. And who knows, she might cause some serious injury to him in the future. There’s no guarantee of his safety in the relationship.
Another thing folks talked about was how it would have been perceived differently if their roles were reversed. If the poster had treated her the same way as how she treated him, it would’ve turned into a whole big thing. In the US, 1 in 9 men experience extreme physical violence from their partner.
So, when men face physical violence, it should not be ignored. Folks also pointed out that she clearly had anger issues and needed to work on them before she could commit to any other person, if the poster ended things with her. And they advised the poster that he had already given her a chance but she had ruined it after she was violent with him again.
According to Psychology Today, difficulty tolerating injury, entitlement, lack of empathy, lack of accountability, and unaddressed trauma are the major causes behind a person’s act of violence. It looks like the poster’s girlfriend has to work through all these things instead of acting violently.
Well, what did you think about the Redditors’ verdict? Feel free to tell us your thoughts in the comments!
Folks online said that her repetitive physical and emotional cruelty towards him was unacceptable and called her a giant red flag
