Sometimes couples don’t see eye to eye, but such matters are best dealt with in private. Berating each other in public, especially in front of friends, makes it awkward for everyone. Relationship issues won’t necessarily be resolved any sooner if there are witnesses involved.
For one Redditor, he was shocked when his girlfriend pointed out several of his shortcomings at a gathering with her friends. Unimpressed, the guy told her afterwards that she could leave if she wasn’t satisfied. Now he’s asking the internet if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
Guy went to cookout with his girlfriend and her stuck-up friends
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Girlfriend proceeded to highlight a number of his flaws over the course of the evening
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
He said he always pays her the biggest compliments when his friends are around
Image credits: Racool_studio (not the actual photo)
Afterwards, the guy asked his girlfriend why she had insulted him so much, but she said she was just kidding around
Image credits: u/DebtContent1218
He told his girlfriend she could leave if she wasn’t satisfied with the relationship, but now wonders if that was a jerk move
OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his girlfriend went to a cookout with her friends. He admits that she is out of his league and that he considers himself only average and that, while he doesn’t really know her friends, they seem a bit stuck up.
During the course of the evening, he noticed that his girlfriend didn’t compliment him once. Instead, she took the opportunity to knock him verbally, insulting everything from his receding hairline and tattoo to the car he drives and his lack of endurance for staying up late at parties.
OP says that, while there’s some truth to her snide remarks, all he ever does when they hang out with his friends is constantly compliment her.
When the couple got home, OP asked his girlfriend what was up with all the nasty comments, but she said she was just kidding around and that he was being a child about it. OP proceeded to tell her that she was welcome to leave him if he was so inadequate. Now he’s turned to Reddit to ask if that was a jerk move.
The simple truth is that feelings of uncertainty and conflict can also be part of any so-called ‘normal’ relationship. You can, at times, feel like you’re stuck in a sort of love limbo, unsure whether you should pull the trigger on it or put renewed effort into making things work out.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
In her article for Time, author Carly Breit writes that the feelings caused by romantic love can be so strong, they can convince people to stay in relationships that are unhealthy, unfulfilling and ultimately unhappy — whether they realize it or not.
In fact, a 2015 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that, when people looked at photos of their romantic partners, dopamine — a chemical associated with reward that makes people feel good — was released in their brains.
Julie Wadley, founder and CEO of matchmaking and coaching service Eli Simone, says, “The way these chemicals make people feel can make them overlook logical decisions like leaving an unsatisfying relationship.”
So, how do you know when it’s time to break it off with someone you love?
According to Wadley, everyone has different needs that have to be met in a relationship, whether they be emotional or practical. If one partner feels the other isn’t making an effort to meet these requirements after they’ve spoken about it clearly several times, it’s possibly time to move on.
Another sign it might be time to call it quits is if you find yourself seeking these needs from others. “If you’re like, ‘I have a choice between talking to my boyfriend and talking to my guy friend, the guy who is constantly giving you that emotional affirmation that I need — I’m going with the friend,’” Wadley says, “Something’s not right.”
If you’re feeling afraid to ask your partner for more from the relationship, it’s probably time to end things.
Wadley says open lines of communication are crucial to healthy, lasting partnerships. “People may think, ‘That’s going to make me sound needy and emotional,’” says Wadley, but hiding your real feelings about how your partner is behaving towards you will only draw out the inevitable.
Another red flag to look out for is if your friends and family don’t support your relationship. If the people who know you best and have your best interests at heart see that the person you’re in love with is bringing you down, listening to their opinions is a good idea.
What do you think of the situation OP finds himself in? Do you think his girlfriend was showing her true colors? Was he being a jerk by offering to show her the door? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Redditors in the comments suggested that what the girlfriend had done was a big waving red flag and that he deserves someone who can appreciate him
