When people find out their partner has cheated on them, one of the first things they usually jump to is getting revenge. Well, that’s actually not as helpful as it may sound and may even make things even worse. But, while there are plenty of stories about breaking cars or burning the cheating partner's things, sometimes indirect revenge may be even more pleasant.
After eventually ending things with his awful ex-girlfriend, one Reddit user posted his ‘indirect’ revenge story. Knowing that his ex-girlfriend constantly monitors her bank account, he requested that she return a debt. After receiving a check, he didn’t cash it out, knowing it would make her crazy.
More info: Reddit
Knowing what would worry a person may be the best revenge without breaking or physically hurting anything or anybody
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Man shares that he and his now ex-girlfriend would lend each other money, and always pay one another back, but then she cheated
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
He took her back, and when he got a job opportunity that required a lot of traveling, he paid for his girlfriend to visit him
At the end of the trip she asked to borrow some money, which he gladly gave her, only to find out she was living with some other guy
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He adds that it was the first time he had to ask for her to pay him back and finally, after a few weeks, he got the check, which he didn’t cash
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One year later, he met her again, and after finding out that he had never cashed out this check, she said that it had been driving her crazy all year, which was the man’s plan
Recently a Reddit user shared his revenge story in which, instead of causing a scene, he decided to insist that his ex-girlfriend pay him back and then simply didn't cash her check, knowing this would make her worry it never went through. The post caught a lot of attention and collected almost 5K upvotes and 170 comments.
The original poster (OP) shares that years ago he had a girlfriend, and they frequently lent each other money, but would always pay it back within a reasonable time, thus it was good for both of them. Later, she cheated, but OP took her back, after which he got a job opportunity that included constant traveling.
Then he paid for her so that she would come to visit him. Unfortunately, he shares that these days spent together were not the best. In addition to this, she asked to borrow some money, which he gladly gave her. Well, only to find out from her son that she was now living with some other guy. OP notes that it was the first time he had to ask her to pay him back, but finally, after a few months, he received a check.
Around a year after this incident, he randomly ran into her at some bar. After small talk, she finally asked him if he had cashed the check, to which he informed her that he actually never cashed or even intended to do so as he knew it would make her insane that it never went through. And turns out it was true - she admitted that it actually drove her crazy not seeing that check go through.
Community members applauded OP for this ‘genius’ revenge plan, and folks who like their checks to be cashed right away felt the girlfriend's pain. “Some of the best revenge is playing the long game and not actually doing anything. People always make things seem worse in their mind when they start imagining what's going to happen, when it'll happen and where it'll happen,” one user wrote. “Living rent free in her head for a year,” another added.
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“The desire for revenge, while understandable in the aftermath of betrayal, often has a counterproductive impact on one's well-being and future relationships,” shared Dr. Jane Greer, who is a marriage and family therapist with Bored Panda. “The persistent anger and the emotional tie to the person who caused the hurt can become an emotional prison, keeping individuals locked into a cycle of negativity.”
She noted that actually the best revenge, in essence, is to move on, create a better life, and cultivate more fulfilling relationships.
Now, we hear quite often that couples break up because somebody gets a job that requires them to move or constantly travel. Dr. Jane Greer emphasizes that working out of town can significantly impact an individual's availability to be present for their partner. “The physical distance further complicates matters, making it challenging to sustain a strong emotional bond and fostering doubts about the partner's faithfulness,” she shares.
Luckily, a proactive approach can help mitigate these challenges. “One effective strategy is to maintain a consistent and meaningful connection on a daily basis,” Dr. Greer emphasizes.
“This can include regular phone calls, text messages, and FaceTime check-ins, both in the morning and evening. Sharing the little details of each other's daily lives during these check-ins helps bridge the physical gap and makes the partner feel more involved in the intimate aspects of each other's experiences.”
Finally, as good as any revenge may feel, undergoing betrayal in a relationship can lead to emergence of self-doubt, heightened insecurity and compromised ability to trust one’s own judgment. The marriage and family therapist emphasizes that it compromises one's ability to feel safe in relationships, introducing an element of doubt and anxiety that can spike unpredictably.
So, as Dr. Jane Greer states, “overall, the aftermath of betrayal leaves a lasting imprint on emotional well-being, shaping the way individuals navigate and establish trust in future relationships.”
Redditors loved this story and suggested even more solutions for how the author could have dealt with the ex-girlfriend
