Romantic betrayal comes in various forms. Infidelity is one of the most common examples, which in most cases spells the immediate end of a relationship.
Then you have people who, for some reason, will choose to live a lie and deceive their partner. What makes this type of betrayal hurt more is the feeling of being strung along, which can happen for a prolonged period.
This is the scenario a woman found herself in after discovering her boyfriend’s double life. Worse, the deceit had been going on throughout their two-year relationship.
Learning about a partner’s double life is one of the worst experiences of romantic betrayal
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This is what a woman had to deal with after unraveling her boyfriend's two-year lie
Image credits: nazanin salem / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The man tried to weasel his way out of trouble, as the woman sought advice from the internet
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The costs of secrets in a romantic relationship are much deeper than just the erosion of trust
We all know how all forms of deception lead to the erosion of trust. However, keeping secrets in a romantic relationship, in particular, carries much heavier consequences.
According to licensed psychotherapist Darlene Lancer, one of them is that the cover-up lies and omissions become harder to remember.
“The longer the truth is hidden, the greater becomes the hurdle of revelation, for it would bring into question every instance of cover-up and all times the innocent partner relied upon and trusted the betrayer,” Lancer wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
Lancer adds that the deceived person may begin to experience self-doubt, which ultimately harms their self-esteem. They may even be required to undergo counseling to recover from the loss of trust and rebuild their morale and self-confidence.
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Moving forward from betrayal is not easy. Apart from letting time heal the wounds, the hurt individual must also evaluate the relationship.
Psychologist Dr. Cara Gardenswartz says part of it is seeking professional help while also prioritizing personal growth. That, in turn, raises another question: As the betrayed person, how do you know whether the relationship is worth saving?
According to the Gottman Institute, the answer lies in asking yourself three more questions: (1) Are you interested in making amends? (2) Will you be able to let go of the anger and resentment? (3) Can you imagine being happy with your partner despite what they did?
If you answered no to all three, then breaking up may be the best solution for everyone.
In this story’s case, the woman may need to do a lot of thinking with the help of a professional. However, her boyfriend is still married, and it is never a good look to be the “other woman,” no matter how she spins it. Therefore, it may be best for her to leave the relationship.
Readers offered candid reactions, as well as some pieces of advice
