Breakups are usually very painful, and only time heals the wounds, and then shows whether this situation was a win-win for the ex-partners, or whether both of them only lost because they decided to go on different paths in life.
However, in the story that we'll tell you today, from the user u/BothTreacle4727, the couple found themselves on the verge of a breakup after six years of a fairly cloudless, let’s face it, relationship, due to someone else’s breakup. More precisely, because of the separation of best friends - and different attitudes to this problem.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and his girlfriend had been dating for 6 years and wanted to tie the knot soon
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The couple were part of a group of pretty close friends, where there was another couple as well
Image credits: BothTreacle4727
Their relationship seemed 'picture perfect' but it turned out that the wife had repeatedly cheated on her spouse
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BothTreacle4727
All the friends canceled the ex-wife on the spot - but the author's girlfriend was the only one who bonded even more strongly with her
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BothTreacle4727
The author decided to talk with his partner about it - but the convo grew into a fight where the guy verbally destroyed the woman
The problem, however, is as old as time - the Original Poster (OP) says that he and his maybe-now-ex have been dating for 6 years, and were about to get married when this situation happened. The author and his GF had a mutual circle of friends, and this company included "Jerry" and "Sandy". 'Included' - because they had recently separated after three years of marriage and six years of previous relationships. A 'picture perfect relationship,' as the author himself notes.
As it turned out later, even before marriage, Sandy had a long-term affair, and recently cheated on her husband again. At first, Jerry decided not to wash the dirty laundry in public, but then he changed his mind and told all his friends about everything. There followed an almost unanimous cancellation of Sandy, with the exception, as it turned out, of the author's GF.
Moreover, as the author found out later, in the time that passed after Jerry and Sandy filed for divorce, she and Sandy had become even closer... and the OP considered this a real betrayal of her deceived husband. Well, the guy decided to discuss what happened with his partner - but did so in the most inappropriate manner.
Yes, the original poster started berating his SO right off the bat - and when she responded by saying that Jerry himself, by his behavior, prompted Sandy to cheat on him, the man lost his temper completely. What followed was a series of digs not appropriate for a conversation between a loving couple, but rather for a rap battle. The OP verbally destroyed his girlfriend, calling her, among other things, 'gross' and 'disgusting,' and adding that the woman's late mother would have been disappointed with her for such behavior.
Why the man was so confident in the reaction of the deceased woman, history is actually silent, but the OP, in the heat of the quarrel, also angrily added that his girlfriend seemingly has no values as a human, and now he's not at all surprised why she couldn’t make it in medical school.
That's it, this was the last straw - and since then the man and woman have not communicated, and most of their acquaintances say that he clearly overreacted. The guy’s own mother was even more categorical - she said that his relationship is probably over.
Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)
“It’s actually a very strange case, with many unknowns, as they say,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment here. "Of course, cheating is a betrayal, but we don't really know what the circumstances were for this couple. Moreover, the narrator himself says that their relationship was 'picture perfect' - and even their close friends didn't know all the secrets."
“Next, all the friends en masse cut all ties with the ex-wife without figuring out what exactly happened there - and what caused this betrayal. Perhaps, and this is just one of the probabilities, the author's girlfriend was the only person from the whole group who bothered to listen to the other side..."
"However, be that as it may, the man definitely overreacted here. In the end, any person has the right to have their own opinion - even if it seems fundamentally wrong to others. And to insult her for expressing this opinion, citing such 'arguments' as deceased parents, getting personal - this is completely unacceptable. It is quite likely that the author, as they say, crossed the Rubicon, and here, too, everything is just over," Irina concludes.
The opinions of the majority of commenters to the original post are also almost unanimous - the author destroyed these relations with his own hands, going absolutely nuclear in a quite an ordinary quarrel. "You don't agree with her moral value, though, so you weren't compatible anyways," one of the people aptly wrote in the comments.
Moreover, some commenters are pretty much sure that everything was wrong in the OP’s relationship with his probably-now-ex a long time ago - otherwise why did such a fiery reaction take place? "How long have you hated your girl?" another commenter questioned. "To bring up her dead mom... you must have already had some serious resentment towards her." So what do you actually think about this all? Please feel free to express your viewpoints in the comments below.
People in the comments are almost sure the man overreacted here, and even ruined his relationship on his own
