Woman Lies To BF About Event Start Date Because She's Tired Of His Selfish Behavior

Punctuality is a virtue… well, at least for some people! Without it, you’ll probably find it hard to thrive in the modern world that's stuffed full of deadlines, meetings, and appointments. But the odds are that you probably have at least one friend who’s constantly late to everything, leaving you waiting around.

The temptation is to tell someone like that to meet you earlier than you plan to, so they show up on time. That’s exactly what redditor u/thatgirl829 did. She lied to her boyfriend about the start time of an event so he wouldn’t be late, as usual. However, when he found out, he was furious. Scroll down for the full story.

Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her. Meanwhile, Ainsley Hawthorn, Ph.D., an author, international expert in sensory studies, and the host of The Sensory Revolution blog on Psychology Today, was kind enough to share her thoughts on this particular situation with us.

The reality is that if you’re constantly forcing everyone to wait for you, you don’t care much about their time. On the flip side, if you’re punctual, it shows that you respect them as an individual.

Time is pretty much everything. You’ve only got one life to live, after all. So, if we’re being very technical, someone who’s wasting your time is also wasting your life.

There are so many other great things that you could be doing with the time you spend waiting for your chronically late amigos. At some point, you have to wonder if all of that time and energy wouldn’t be better spent in the company of someone who sees you as an equal.

While some folks are simply careless about punctuality, others might have difficulty managing time due to serious issues. For example, someone who has time blindness can have difficulty with the perception of time. Simply put, they find it hard to tell how much time has passed and estimate how long doing something will take.

Someone who has ADHD is likely to suffer from time blindness. The condition can also affect those who are grieving, overly stressed, sleep-deprived, or drunk, but in these cases, it is all temporary.

"What's interesting about this scenario is that sometimes people with time blindness ask loved ones to lie to them about event start times to help them avoid being late," Hawthorn, an expert in sensory studies, shared some comments on the viral story author's situation with Bored Panda in an email.

"They're aware they struggle with punctuality, and they genuinely don't want to waste other people's time," she said.

According to Hawthorn, this type of white lying can be a part of someone's strategy for managing their time blindness. However, the essential thing here is that all of this is all consensual.

"A time-blind person may also ask a loved one to help keep them on track for an event by telling them when to start getting ready and giving them occasional updates on the current time," she told Bored Panda.

"The important thing is that both parties are willing to give and receive help to achieve the shared goal of arriving on time."

During a previous interview with Bored Panda, Hawthorn went into more detail about time blindness with us.

“Many of the consequences of time blindness, like being late, missing deadlines, or forgetting to respond to messages, are ones we associate with laziness, but laziness implies choice. When we say someone is lazy, we mean they had the option to be productive but instead made the decision to relax, to dawdle, or to procrastinate. Time blindness isn’t a choice but a symptom linked with conditions like ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression, and traumatic brain injury,” the expert told us earlier.

“All of these conditions impair executive function, the skills that allow a person to plan ahead and take step-by-step actions to achieve long-term goals. A time-blind individual generally wants to be punctual, make deadlines, and answer messages promptly, but their inability to track time constantly gets in their way. Laziness is relaxing, an escape from the pressures of work, but time blindness is stressful. It prevents a person from doing tasks they themselves care about and leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt,” she said.

According to Hawthorn, people tend to assume that everyone perceives the world the same way. This, however, is not the case. “There are many types of sensory differences and disabilities. We have no trouble accepting that a person can be color blind or tone deaf, so why do we struggle to accept that someone might have impaired time perception?”

The expert noted that not all cultures see punctuality as a moral value. “The majority of the population, who have no trouble tracking time, have no reason to change this way of thinking because it allows them to feel virtuous for something that comes easily to them. I believe the best way to learn empathy for others is to listen to or read their stories. It broadens your own mind and makes you more aware of the diversity of human experience,” she said.

“It’s generally a good idea to seek professional advice if a problem like time blindness is interfering with your quality of life. Whether you’re traditionally employed or self-employed, the ability to make appointments, meet deadlines, and communicate promptly are fundamental requirements of our working world. These expectations can pose a real challenge for those who suffer from time blindness. Time-blind individuals compensate by wearing watches, setting alarms, keeping time logs, and avoiding activities that will cause them to hyperfocus,” she told Bored Panda.

“It’s generally a good idea to seek professional advice if a problem like time blindness is interfering with your quality of life. Look for a professional who specializes in neurodiversity and may be more aware of time blindness.”

Do you have any family or friends who are always late, dear Pandas? What do you do in those cases? Do you call them out or find some fun way to pass the time? Have you ever told a chronically late person to show up earlier than the event was scheduled? Let us know in the comments.