A relationship without trust is basically impossible. Just like in every friendship, you want to be able to fully trust the person and to avoid overthinking, tension and unnecessary quarrels.
However, in this digital age, trust issues are becoming more and more common. You can never know if your partner is communicating with some other person on the internet. Deleting messages and hiding all the evidence is easier than ever. There are even options where the messages can be deleted automatically after some specific time. Plus, asking your partner if you can check their phone already raises suspicions that may end in a quarrel. And that’s why loyalty and trust are among the most important values in a relationship.
More info: Reddit
Giving your phone number to another person for communication when you are in a relationship may make your partner feel betrayed
Image credits: Wiliam Fortunato (not the actual photo)
Man asks if he is wrong for being mad after finding out his girlfriend gave her phone number to a guy
Image credits: u/TotalPercentage9533
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
His girlfriend became suspicious when he was texting a friend so he showed his phone to her to check
Image credits: u/TotalPercentage9533
Image credits: Sanket Mishra (not the actual photo)
Since she was so skeptical, he asked to see her phone and at first she was hesitant but after a while caved
Image credits: u/TotalPercentage9533
He opened Instagram and found messages with one guy who was asking for her number and she gave it to him
A few days ago, one Reddit user shared his story to one of the communities asking its members if he is indeed wrong for being mad and feeling betrayed after finding out that his girlfriend gave her phone number to a guy she met once. The post gained a lot of attention and in just 3 days it reached almost 8K upvotes and more than 2.1K comments.
To begin with, OP shares that he has been with his girlfriend for 5 years. However, one night she got suspicious about who he was chatting with and accused him of texting a girl. He gave his phone to her to see that it was just his male friend. Well, her being so skeptical of him now raised a little suspicion to the author, so he also asked to see her phone. Of course, she was hesitant at first but later on caved.
She immediately opened her messages and gave her phone to the OP. However, when he asked to see Instagram, it was visible that she started becoming nervous. Well, that’s because there were around 10 messages with a guy who she met at a pool with friends and apparently he was looking for some friends. At the end of the conversation, the girlfriend gave this guy her phone number and OP can’t help but feel mad and betrayed.
Community members backed the author up and told him that his reaction is fair, shared their own similar situations and said that this could lead to the girlfriend’s cheating. “Usually the people who are controlling about wanting to see their partners' phones are the ones doing [it],” one user wrote. “Both of my exes accused me of cheating and demanded to go through my phone to find the ‘proof’. And what do you know? They were both caught cheating on me,” another added.
Image credits: Tofros.com (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Susan Winter, who is a bestselling author and relationship expert. She kindly agreed to share her professional insights regarding challenges that technology poses to trust-building, why partners may want to check each other’s phones and consequences of not addressing feelings in a relationship.
“Technology has enabled a new form of infidelity called ‘micro cheating’’, Susan shares. This kind of flirting isn't physical at first and takes place in the digital sphere. This kind of casual interaction would involve leaving a direct message to a person on a social media profile or 'liking' and commenting on a post. Even while it's less obvious than actual flirting, micro-cheating can easily progress to lengthy conversations and eventually an in-person meeting.
Now, speaking about the feeling of needing to check your partner’s phone or social media, the relationship expert says that this is a sign of trust issues. There is just the only question whether this lack of trust is justified or unjustified.
So to begin with, justified suspicion and lack of trust may come from a history of bad behavior on the part of one’s partner. “They either have a history of lying, cheating, infidelity, or the relationship has never felt solid from the start.”
On the other hand, unjustified suspicion may live within the person who feels suspicious. There is a fundamental wound that has not been cared for. It will eventually undermine a faithful partner's affection along with the notions that "Everyone cheats," "No one can be trusted," and "I need to protect myself."
And finally, Susan emphasizes that unresolved issues and grievances unaired create long-standing resentments that eventually destroy the relationship. Trust, honesty, and loving behavior support a relationship's durability.
When one or both individuals stop being open and honest in their communication and dealing with difficulties in life, they will shut down and pull away. “The relationship dies a slow death as resentment builds and neither feels incentivized to ‘try' to make it better,” she says.
Redditors discussed that the guy's girlfriend is already cheating or planning to and that the relationship is over
